Its amazing that nothingness has a name, Bootes Void.

What's the best way to eliminate debt?

Puff it into smoke with a blowtorch - mwahahaha!

How do you make stinky shoes smell good?

Sometimes the words "evolved" and "desinged" are used in the same sentence to describe the same thing.

Wait, you want them tomorrow?

The correct answer is the same compound in apples that cause them to turn brown over time!

What sort of philosophers are we, who know absolutely nothings of the origin and destiny of cats?

You can never step into the same pixel stream twice.

What's the best way to reduce stress?

Stress is a little bug that burrows through your ear and lives in your brain. If you light a match and put it next to your ear, the little stress bug will get scared and run out of your other ear. This process will happen faster if your hair catches fire, because the smell of burning hair will scare it more.

If you just let the stress free to run around, it'll either crawl back into you, or into someone who lives nearby. So you need to either kill it, or turn it into a chill bug by playing ambient music at it for a week.

Next question: Who's a good dog?

The fine print reads (Cannot prevent accidents).

If not now, when?

Last night I heard the screaming,

If not you, then who?

This pitiful creature, it knows not even of two.

What is this "better" that so many want?

It's actually spelt with a "u". Butter! Butter goes good with lots of foods!

So where did the UFO take the cow it abducted from the farm?

The prom dance.

Why did the chicken cross the galaxy?

Tomorrow's cutting edge is yesterday's obsolete.

What will you do without natural defense against disease?

Maybe it'll go away if I ask it nicely enough.

Why can't we all hibernate?

Zzzzzzzzz...snrert....wut....?

How many roads must a man walk down?

There is a world of sound I cannot hear outside this suit!

So what makes you think I'd want money!?

It's raining cats and dogs.

What is the meaning of pebbles?

They stay crunchy in milk

How now, brown cow?

Give them nothing, take from them even less!!!

Why do I even have followers?

Because you cast no shadow.

When will we run out of clocks?

Not only was the strangler a southpaw, it was just the southpaw!

Why should I?