To me, one reason I love your art style is because it feels so relatable to me - as a human being, it's natural to have flaws, just as your lines aren't smooth nor are the colors you use very saturated. yet like those lines you draw, we all have a purpose and direction in spite of - or maybe because of - those flaws. And I don't have to do an analysis to feel emotion from looking at your art, I look at the little things you draw and relate to them, the bumpy outlines, the facial expressions - how awkward and lovable it all is. I don't know if it's what you're going for, or maybe you just naturally draw like this, but I cherish this about you and I hope you keep making more art to share with the world.

If you ever do open commissions again (I saw you have an art shop link on your profile but it seems to be closed at the moment) please give me a personal ping - cuz tbh I have other pets I'd love overlays for and I want to commission you for all of them tbh. I'm just a big fan of your art okay ❤

There's some irony & some real love in what you say, & so I figure you might want the Why. I thought at first maybe I should just like... put it in an sMail, but then maybe others would be curious, too, so I'll just leave it here. Srry if it's too personal. Perfectly OK to just scroll on out now.

When I started this "style" (or--rebooted, I guess you could say, & I'll explain THAT in a few), I was very, very angry & sad, & depressed. See, I went from being in highschool, & just out of highschool, (a period of around 2004/5ish to 2008ish & then up to 2010ish) where I was churning out art every day in spite of dropping health. Doing tons of sketches & filling lots of folders & being interactive with friends all the time like an artist "should."

I got very sick, very quickly, very badly. & Then again. & again.

It got to the point that I couldn't hold a pad of paper. A sketchbook. A pen. I couldn't balance my tablet. It was all too heavy. Too much manual dexterity, too much physical pressure on skin that bruised too easily.

I'm still that way. I've not recovered. It's not getting better, & I doubt it will. That's the reality, I've finally faced that part, & I'm OK with it. I'm coping, & I'm managing things these days. I'm finally with a doctor who manages pain--who listens to me instead of dismissing me. So that should go somewhere, I'm hoping.

(There's a TON I could say on the US healthcare system & the way doctors treat people, but particularly fat people, & people who are CAFAB. Instead, I'm just gonna return to my original point which was--)

I got mad, & depressed, & I stopped creating. Anything. For about 5 years, I just stopped all art. Which was even worse. I'm pretty sure my health (particularly mentally/emotionally) tanking even further was pushed along by that, but I can't prove it. So at one point, for some reason, I'm not even sure now what changed in me, but I decided, okay--

I'll start small.

I'll doodle in MSPaint. I won't Commit. I'll do it for me. I'll just do dumb things. I'll use a mouse. I'll let myself make mistakes. (Which I never, ever, ever let myself do before. I was raised in a very strict household, where expectations were very high, & led to a lot of very unhealthy things. The usual "high expectations/exceeds expectations" in school kind of things that leads to kids breaking down after a while. I could talk about school systems & parents, too. LOL.)

I hated everything I made. No surprises. I gave up a lot, too. Also no surprises, LOL.

But like... at some point, I got to a different side, & I found there was a sort of therapy to what I was doing? It's really hard to explain. I stopped hating & started finding joy again in what I was doing.

I started working with my limits.

Like--a mouse lets me use my dumb claw hand to swipe on a screen still & make lines. All the jittery bits & the lines that are left over from sketching & that have flaws & whatnot, those are there for a reason, yeah.

I have to do a lot of erasing, still. A lot of little gimmicks & ctrl-Z & the like. But when I think about it, it's really not a WHOLE lot different then what I used to do with a tablet & a stylus, or a pencil/graphite, & some bristol board.

It takes me easily 3 times as long to put something out as it used to, which is really the biggest draw back. But--

like you said. It's messy & human & it's me on a plate. & I still use MSPaint even though I could feasibly use a different program, because it lets me not feel much pressure or anxiety. I'm a kid with crayons, & I'm happy again to make things.

I'm glad that the emotions are coming through, even on the little stuff.

So thank you. Everything you've said this whole time has meant so much to me.

My commission stuff was a venture in like... 2 whole finished commissions ever about a year ago before my health spiked downward again & ended in what inevitably landed me in the hospital (again) which is what forced me into this last long hiatus.

Still not sure whether I want to try again for a whole host of Reasons that range from losing so much from my laptop expiring to letting lots of people down to anxiety to not able to keep up a "reasonable" commission pace to irrational guilt, etc. etc.

Your enthusiasm is noted & appreciated & I'll definitely keep you in mind. ;;

Also, if you're interested: This is what I was able to salvage from various places on the internet that weren't as dead as my laptop. [URL=http://imgbox.com/Mzg05BAa]A few snapshots of things over the years that I did when I still used a tablet or real medias.[/url] (Make sure to hit the little arrow button at the top right) It's all very old, very silly & maudlin, but still good /stitch voice.

edit: & this is the art tumblr thats not updated as often as id like & the img gallery thats updated slightly more often bc its just the scraps & "less presentable" things usually or forum junk

i honestly had been debating whether i should update people or not. i'd been feeling really guilty because i didnt know if people wanted to see a ping only to see "nope sorry not finished yet & heres all these excuses!"

the good news is that ive got a pain doc finally, & im on some meds thats evening some things out for me (pain isnt really chased away but i dont have to deal with body spasms as much which is a huge qol improvement on its own that im super excited about!!!), & all the family stuff is sort of under control--so im actually getting things squared away & can work on the sketches id started finally. ;;

anyway thank you for being so patient.

that goes for everyone else thats been quietly waiting on me. i know i made a lotta promises. im getting there!

Your health is most important!! Keep yourself heathly we will still be here :P