Chit-chat Party :3
Replies
Reverse psychology! They wouldn't listen! ;---;
BAHAHA, white font. Font of evil.
Haha yes! >:3 Ultimate trolly font of doom. I have to go finish my daily quests ohno. DX
Oh noes, get them done!
I has finished my pastas, so I shall begin your story now. :3
Yes >:0 gets to it
And yay! I can't wait. :D
Mush, mush! :P
I already have a beginning thought of. This is gonna be really fun to write. Thank you for letting me have this opportunity!
Haha no problem! :D Thank you for writing it for me!
Oh wow that was fast! Is it readable anywhere? :D
I'm fixing to put it on my dA, I think.
It's kinda long. o_o 1551 words, lol.
Like I said, please tell me your total honest thoughts on it. I can take it!
edit: I type 145wpm on average. :P
Ahh I just finished reading all of it. :D It was very well written and easy to read, it read like a novel. ^u^ I love the beginning and how you introduced her (I also like the character Fenrir now! I'm glad you made him! u). I also love her interactions with Mushi!
One thing that I wanted to note was that Marinn is a girl XD. Sorry if that confused you! The blue heart confuses me too on the pet page DX... And there were only a few minor critiques I wanted to make (but what you've written is great, please don't think its not ;o; ). I wanted Marinn to have more of a shy, friendly but clumsy (in an endearing way) personality instead of bubbly and happy. That's confusing because of what I have written on her pet page since she originally had a bubbly happy personality when she was common coloured and then I thought it didn't fit the glacier look D: So you couldn't have known about that, sorry DX
I was also hoping that more of Lanfan's protective nature would show through in the present (like being concerned about Malcom because she's more worried that he's going to hurt Marinn, etc or watching Marinn if she hits the corner of the wall and scolding her for it while secretly duct taping pillows to the corner XD) Or even if Malcom wasn't in the story yet so that Lanfan could have more story getting accustomed to having a home (just because I thought the jump was a little too fast from her just being adopted -> malcom's adoption).
And the only last critique I have is just this one line shot "I understand. I'm not going to let her stay here forever, though. C'mon, Lanfan, I have tons of food and things waiting for you at home!" Just because I don't want it to sound like I'm bribing her with food and toys, and I wanted her to be won over with love and safety XD
Ahhh I'm so sorry for the wall of text. D: It's not as troubling to me as my sentences look (I wrote too much DX) I really do think it's great and am so happy at what you've written! u
Glad it was easy to read!
Thank you for the tips. I do appreciate it! Don't worry, I understand.
I honestly had no idea how to get the whole... The bit about Lanfan coming home. I think I will rewrite it a bit (change the gender for Marinn for one LOL) and take out the piece about BEING home and focus entirely on Lanfan COMING home. My fiance is on break so I am talking to him while I can, and then I will see about re-doing some of it and I will update the post on dA and let you know!
No problem! :) You've already done so much; Lanfan and I are happy. ^u^ Take your time and thank you so much!
nonononono, tytyty. Really! I don't get much inspiration anymore. I'm hoping something like this will prompt me to actually start my novel. -sigh- :c
Yes I hope so o Reading what you wrote was so nice, I was excited to see what was coming up next! It really does read like a novel I would enjoy reading on my own time. :D
-blushes-
Don't be buttering me up! :P
You really do like it, though? (Aside from the few bits mentioned, which I will work on shortly.) While I would get a lot of good responses about my work, it would also frighten people, or make them really sad. I always figured making people sad with sad pieces was a good thing, but I don't know. Most of the good responses I have gotten have been from like, my mom or fiance lol.
I wrote a piece in high school for Creative Writing class and made a girl in my class cry once. I think that was the most moving response I have ever gotten out of anything I have ever written.
Muahaha but butter is delicious >:3 omnomnom
No but really, I loved it. I'm really happy I picked Lanfan too because I think you portrayed her so well >u<
I just finished reading The Haunt, and it's so beautifully written. It's so moving, I really feel bad for the "monster". :( The pacing of the piece is spot on and reads wonderfully. :) Have you submitted anything to writing competitions or poetry books? If not, I think you should! (Or write your own!)
Edit: Also I'm shocked that anybody would be frightened :s I think this kind of poetry is the best; it really touches deeper into the soul, has the essence of mystery and the fundamental nature of a key emotion - sadness and loss. I would actually think that sad responses with sad pieces is great. :D (Not because sad people are great...) It means that you got that emotion across and it resonated with them. ^u^
mmmm buttteeerrrrr -nommynomnom- -
I'm glad you think so. I'm still working on some edits! Almost done, though, I think. I thhiink.
We had to write something scary for Halloween. I was that creepy goth kid in school that no one wanted to talk to. I got picked on a lot for various things, so I decided that I was going to write something about me. Everyone viewed me as a monster, so, well, I became the monster. That took a really long time to write, a few days, but it is all raw. All of my work is. (In fact, this story is the first thing I have EVER edited!)
I have submitted some of my poetry to contests and have won a few. I also won a regional short story competition in 3rd grade. I haven't attempted to "officially" publish anything yet, although I am wanting to write that one novel and that will be my first published piece. My cousin's wife is an artist, and I have thought about seeing if she'd want to draw pieces to go with my poetry and publish it together, split the profits 50/50, but I am unsure how she will feel about that so I have not asked. :(
edit: Updated! Thoughts?
DX I would talk to you! And you're a great person, so forget them anyways >:T People who pick on others like that based on how they look or are perceived grow up to be really vain and superficial hmph!
shy Aw Lanfan's story is the first you've edited? I feel humbled..yet so guilty too, sorry for making you edit your work TnT!
Oh wow, you should enter more! And get a move on with that poetry book! >:0 So much talent just waiting to be jam-packed into a book! >:3
Edit: Ohh! I love it! I think you captured it perfectly! (I'm also growing to love Mushi even more....) Marinn's shy but inquisitive nature is perfect too! Thank you so much ;O; huggles