Hmm, i guess we'll just have to disagree on what being a good guy means. It doesn't sound like he's all that stupid ... from an outsider's point of view, he's managing to have his cake and eat it too whilst having both you and Randi think he's only trying to do what's best. Sounds pretty manipulative to me, but obviously i'm not getting the full picture.

Yeah, I guess you'd have to know him outside of this big fiasco as well, or it'd be hard to see. Fair enough ^^;

Yeah, I've brought up msot of those points. And while he and I have had feelings for each other long before he dated Randi, Idk if I'd date him at all, let alone right after! I know that'd be a horrible idea! Thank you for your advice!

I'm sorry, but there isn't really a good third option for him here. I have a friend who's in the same situation. He's dated the same girl for 5+ years now, even cheated (making out with another girl, everybody knows) and he still doesn't want to dump her even though he doesn't see a future with her. When asked why he's still with her he just keeps saying that he doesn't want to be the one to hurt her. (He's probably afraid because she threatened with suicide once, long ago -_-) She's not leaving. So what will happen? They can't exactly get married when he's not really interested in her either, that would only ruin his life. She even called him out on it at a party, that he'll rather marry his best guy friend than her. He didn't even answer her.

That's what I see for your friend's relationship. He doesn't love her. He can't love her unless he starts lying to himself and trying to convince himself that he loves her enough to stay with her forever. So what can he do? Hope she gives up and leaves? He really needs to sort out his priorities. If he loves you in a romantic kind of way then it's unfair for all three involved to keep this up. What if you move on and meet someone else? How will he react? I bet he's a nice guy, my friend is as well, but both of their problems is that they are cowards. They don't want to hurt the girls, so they decide to lie and string along their partners to avoid any problems. It's not healthy for anyone :/

You can't force him to leave her, of course, but I'd keep on advising him to do the right thing and stop stringing her along. I'd also suggest that you tell him that if he doesn't want to do anything about it, then he can't expect you to wait around for him to change his mind. He can't take your love for granted.

Thank you so much for your answer. It's really helpful! I'm definitely not letting it go, because I agree that this is an awful thing and shouldn't keep going..And I'm really glad you don't think he's a bad guy for it. It's really good to hear it from the pov of someone who's seen the same situation. I'll definitely be thinking about your advice often!

Yeah, I know the situation way too well. I mean, I wouldn't judge if a person is nice or bad just based on something like this. A person can be nice and still choose poorly. Your friend, as well as mine, have both chosen poorly. I don't think he's trying to use any of you, I just think he has a problem hurting his girlfriend. I might be biased because of the extremely similar situation with my friend, though :p

Haha no you pretty much have it spot on. And of course he also doesn't want to leave her because he DOES really really like her. So our situations aren't exactly the same, but they're similar enough that I know you get it.

Yeah. My friend has said that he likes his girlfriend too, but since the start he's also said he's regretted it because she's very clingy and jealous :/ I hope it works out for your friend!

Thanks! Hope it works out for yours as well!

I hope all goes well! It seems youve done everything I would have by now with talking to him xD So Id say its mostly in his hands. Its so nice of you to worry about it thou, especially thinking about his current girl with worry even thou you also have feelings for him! A lot of people couldnt see it that way. [also I just have to say I love what you did with the dress/bows xD I love what people do with layering on here]

I hope it does too, haha. Thanks for the compliments as well, haha!

Yw! Youll have to update us on what happens xD Im always curious to know.

I will :)

I don't think your friend is being fair on Randi at all! I think he is hurting her by not telling her the truth and by keeping things from her. I don't think that's what a relationship is about- it should be based on trust/openness as a key foundation.

He is also being unfair on you because he knows you like him and you know he likes you. It seems like he's stringing you along when he should be acting on his feelings on you . That's what I think :(

I hope things get better for you lovely. ❤️ Keep me updated.

Openness is really a hard thing in that relationship in general ^^;; Randi doesn't really do the whole...talking thing either. If that's a foundation then they don't really have much of a relationship at all. She doesn't trust him very much (but she has good reason for that) and they both can't talk about stuff.

I don't think anything's going to change, really...I can't force him to tell her, and Randi really doesn't want me involved in stuff. It's not my place to say anything to her, either, I guess.

Glad we helped even a little bit! Having those other ideas and explanations can be a real life saver, I bug my friends for that sort of help a lot :D Im happy to hear there is progress being made! Crossing my fingers he grows some balls ;u Its funny how girls have bigger balls a lot of the time haha.

If he does end up telling her thou, have you decided if he is the kind of person youd want to be with? Im guessing that is the hardest part in all of this. At least for you. It sucks when someone you like might not be a very good fit haha. Ive dealt with it a few times. If you do choose to go with him thou I hope it goes better than his current relationship! Talking is so important, and so is trusting! I feel bad for his current girl D;

Yeah, that last part is really hard. I mean, I love him. Very, very much, in fact. And I WOULD like to be with him...I mean, he's my first love. Who wouldn't want to be with their first love? But...I don't think I could trust him in a relationship. It seems so unfair. We love each other. And he talks about his struggles with Randi a lot. She can be...difficult. And it's like, I don't do those things. And he's been the one to point that out. We've never argued, we're always both reasonable about problems and talk about everything to each other! We know some deep dark secrets about each other haha you have no clue. We're each others support. I'm the one who cheers him up and vice versa. and I've never threatened to throw myself off the top floor of a mall because I'm mad at my mom and then just walked away in a huff It's so annoying because I know we could work. But I don't think I'd have the chance to find out. And even if I did, I don't know if I'd take it. And that breaks my heart.

Haha sorry to rant to you...