please NEVER choose the option that is permanent. this situation, however bad it may be, is temporary. death is the end, done, finished, absolutely one hundred percent permanent. there's so much more life to live, and it gets better, i promise

but when? when? I have been abused in all sorts of ways except sexually for the past ten years. WHEN WILL IT GET BETTER?

it always gets better. The future can bring anything. The future is unknown. Simply hope, imagine a bright future... know that it'll get better. The present may be rough, but focus on the good things, the little things, that make you happy. The smell of coffee, birds chirping, a bit of sunshine... anything, really. Just... keep yourself happy. Know that there is hope.

I'm trying so hard. I really want this all to pay off, all this suffering. But it's taking so long to get here and I don't know how much more I can take. I won't promise anything, but for the time being, I will try.

i agree with just... please don't give up yet. please please PLEASE

I was never in your situation... But I was in a bad one. I was partially oblivious... But ignorance is not bliss.

It will get better someday. I can't tell you when. When you are able to leave your home. When you can finally sleep without a nightmare. When you no longer remember the voice that told you you were worthless, or a terrible child, or stupid. It will get better and better after you finally get away. And at the same time, everything else will change. Maybe it will get worse (Hell knows I've gone through a ton of shit since getting out of my situation- but no matter how bad it was, it was never, ever THAT bad) but nothing can break you without your consent.

My boyfriend attempted suicide two years ago. He still says he does not regret trying it, but he is often glad that he did not succeed. He learned. Things got better. There are days when he still feels it's totally hopeless- 9 months after his attempt he was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, an incurable neurological condition- but he won't attempt again. He knows there's something around the corner that will be better than what is behind him. He doesn't want to sacrifice the chance of happiness to immediately fix depression today.

The only way it will mean anything, any of the things you have survived will be worth it, is if you keep going. I don't know about you, but I want to die knowing that I disproved my abuser. I want to live knowing that he will never, ever have the life that I have, because he is a miserable human at the core, and I am not.

You are much, much stronger than you know. Those of us who survive, who thrive, are the strongest people: not the ones who thought they had power over us.

Try contacting youth homes, emancipation offices, social services. If you're suffering abuse, they can remove you from the situation. Your father may not want to take care of you, but if you're being abused, he may be forced to house you. I'm assuming he's not an abusive person, just unhappy. Contact a church. Even if you're non-religious, they have many resources that can help you. Women's shelters. Friends. If they're such good people, one of them will try to ask their immediate and extended family for help. Maybe, if you have an older friend, you can room together, with their name on a lease so you don't have to go through emancipation proceedings. Couch-surf. My boyfriend was effectively homeless from the age of 16, and spent three years couch-surfing until welfare would approve him, at which point he was able to pay his friends back for their help. Talk to a counselor at your school and see if they can suggest anything.

I tried to kill myself, and I thank GOD that I'm still alive today. I don't know how old you are, but it DOES get better. But you have to fight to make it better - it won't just change by itself. Abuse is awful, I can relate, but honestly, it ends with work.

Mostly everyone has said what I would say, but know this, even if it doesn't seem so, and even if it seems that everyone or the world is against you, there is always someone there that will care. You've got us, you've got your RL friends, and we'll stick around until everything gets better. Whenever you need to talk, someone, whether they have been through the situation or not, will always be there to help you out, and is always willing to listen. So whenever you feel down, talk it out. smail me whenever you need, okay?

, Alright, I found this to be so important that I stopped studying and will fall behind in the subject (and I never fall behind). Name is Amelia.

Let me think for a moment. Above all, you need to talk to any sort of higher authority about how you feel. A teacher you trust, a friend's parent, or anyone that could help you out. There is without a doubt many people that would help you out without question. Pfft, I'd even take you in if I could pay for your plane ticket. I bet there is someone that would be happy to take you in for a while. Even if it means going into national resources to get this. And if your parents will not let this happen, then you need to call the number posted way up above.

As far an emancipation goes, I am pretty sure that it does not require parental approval (oh my god, it took me like three minutes to try and spell approvement right before realizing it wasn't even a word, heh) it only requires the courts assurance that the minor can live on their own safely.

Now let's tackle the "I hate my self" phrase. Sometimes I can relate to this, like when I do something really dumb. But I don't think you have done anything wrong. You are an amazing person. Look at your hand, just look at it. It can do amazing things. It can write, it can create, it can inspire, it can do so much. You can do so much. There is potential in you to do something extraordinary. Use it. Use this gift you have been given. Use it to help someone, use it to change someone, use it to change the way people think.

Do you have hobbies? That is a silly question, of course you do. If the one you have isn't enough, try some new things. Try things that will make you look forward to the next time you get to do it. For me, it is art. I go to classes in town twice a week. The teacher is awful and honestly teaches all wrong and I don't know any of the other people in class (and they don't seem to want to get to know me). But though all of that, I can't wait to work on the still life I am painting and to improve my skill. And you really don't even need to pay for classes in anything for a hobby. I draw with crayons that my cousins leave behind on scrap paper and I love it. Maybe you could go with a friend sometime and go do their hobby. Make it a thing. My friend did ballet in high school, and I always wanted to go with her to her class to just watch.

I can promise you this, though. If you do this, I will be one of the saddest people in the world and everyone else just in the thread will feel the same. It will take a toll on the people you love for the rest of their lives, it will leave an ache in the place that should be filled with happy future memories.

I honestly can't promise anything.

I will see what I can do. I doubt I'll get anywhere, but we'll find out.

But I've been trying for years to make things better and nothing comes out of it. Do you really believe I'm going to keep trying my hardest anymore?

Thanks hun.

I've tried a lot of things, but they generally only help for maybe an hour at most. But I dunno. We'll see what happens. Thank you, though.

, I believe that when you find something you are passionate in, it changes everything. It defines you, it keeps you going, it makes you want to get up in the morning, it gives you a goal, a reason. If you find that reason, be it a hobby or a person or whatever, it all makes sense. Everyone has a reason. They just need to find it. And that in itself is a reason.

And I have to add that you are one of the few people left that uses proper grammar when typing in forums, stay for my sanity @-@

Ahaha, I always use proper grammar unless I'm messing around.

I mean, I do like writing a lot, but everything I do is overshadowed by my problems going on around here...

Yes, I do. I really do.

You obviously need professional help, so I suggest you seek it. Through school, adults, anything. Doesn't matter. It does wonders; therapy and medication are why I'm still alive today.

been there, done that. for years. nothing.

Well if you're here talking about it, you're obviously seeking help. So sorry if I don't believe that you're a hopeless case. If you're on pills and they aren't working, switch. There WILL be a pill that works. But after you find that pill, you have to keep working and learning how to cope. How old are you, if you don't mind my asking?

this is a last resort effort, really. I've been on three different kinds of pills, I take psychology, I know what it does and it doesn't work for everyone. And I'm seventeen. Eighteen in December.

Can you not move out next year for uni/college? And honestly, not every pill works for every person, but there is always something that works for everyone. Highschool psych is the tip of the iceburg so don't take it all too seriously. But regardless, if all you're going to do is say "no I'm going to kill myself no it's not going to get better sry nope nope" then what do you want us to do :c Get a new psych! Go on new pills! Move out! I know what being in a pit feels like so I understand it's not all that easy, but there has to be some kinda drive or effort made. You have so many options that you just can't see.

I'm still a Junior. And it may be high school psych, but it's IB high school psych. we go in depth and we even have to do our own psychological experiment for our IAs. I'm not dead set {har har} on suicide, but it's definitely something I can't get out of my head. other options have been brought up and I'll try them, but I just feel like none of them are going to work. I was looking for a bit of hope.

-shrug- This is true. Just don't go self-diagnosing just yet! That's what depression does, sadly. Makes everything feel hopeless. As long as you try, and want to try, there is hope. I swear.

If you ever want to talk, or chat or idk, message me. Even if everything seems hopeless, there are still some of us who want to help.

You mentioned that you've taken three different kinds of medications? I'm 22, and I've taken five different medications. I have severe anxiety. It's been to the point where I wouldn't leave the front porch for months. If I had to get groceries, I would panic, cry... I wasn't able to eat for almost a week and ended up losing ten pounds over fourteen days. Mental disorders are horrible, insidious things and I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy. BUT, there are so many options when it comes to medication. Just because you've tried three kinds of pills doesn't mean you're out of alternatives on that front.

Speaking of medications, are you taking any anti-depressants at the moment? I don't mean to pry, I swear, but some anti-depressants -- as you probably know -- can increase suicidal thoughts in teenagers and young adults. If you can see any kind of correlation between thoughts of suicide and your medication -- stopping it, decreasing or increasing the dosage, anything -- please speak with your doctor.