Granted, but you don't make it to water in enough time and you suffocate. D=

I wish I had a wocket in my pocket. 6u9

Granted, but said wocket explodes for no reason other than for the Universe's amusement

I wish movies wouldn't be cancelled

Granted, now even the most suckiest and half-assed films wind up in theaters.

I wish I could make some kinder friends.

Granted, but they all secretly hate you.

I wish I had moar moniesss

Granted, but you lose all appeal to the opposite (or same) sex.

I wish I had a rocketship! :D

Granted, but as soon as you take off you realize that a horde of monkeys had taken over command and are holding you hostage so that they can get a lifetimes worth supply of bananas.

I wish that I had a bed of treasure so that I may roost upon it and laugh maniacally.

Granted, but the treasure is cursed, and upon touching it you become so yourself.

I wish my zombie ways didn't ward so many away.

Granted, but you lose the ability to understand English.

I wish my friend lived in the same state as I do.

Granted; your friend now lives with you in your home...but has super annoying habits (and is beyond-belief messy.)

I wish the guy I like liked me back.

: Really? That'd be so awesome, 'cause I'm a messy person too! >w<

Granted, but he only likes you for the things you don't like about yourself.

I wish I could find some new bands.

: Your friend makes even more of a mess than you do, to the point of being downright disgusting.

(And a guy who likes me for what I don't like wouldn't necessarily be all bad; there's a lot of growth potential there, for both of us. <3

Granted, but they all suck.

I wish I weren't so forgetful when it comes to everyday things.

Granted but now you remember all the mediocre things that you never wanted to remember and the things you do wish to remember are the last things you do remember.

I wish I could have a penguin server.

Granted, but he serves you nothing but misery.

I wish I could have more of a "Hakuna Matada" mindset.

Granted, but it's only when you ram it into the backend of another vehicle.

I wish that a little sunshine could cure all.

Granted, but before handing it to you, I accidentally sat on it...

I wish happiness was hard to lose and easy to gain.

Granted, but it's only because you failed the test of life. OnO

I wish for a working voodoo doll.

Granted, but it comes alive and kills you in your sleep.

I wish to go to Hogwarts. ;3;

Granted but a Dementor sucks out your soul on "accident"

I wish I had some awesome glasses~

Granted, but they fall on the ground and shatter into a million pieces. Which then explode.

I wish GLaDOS would give me my darn cake already. D< Cake that isn't a lie.

Granted but the lenses are made out of black tiles and you cannot see and trip on a tree log and break your glasses.

I wish I had a snuffuluffagus