Hello, I am Titania McGee with the Channel 5 News Team: your BEST source for up-to-date information!

In an unprecedented and moving gesture of acceptance, Chancellor Sebastian Phoenix declared a truce with all residents of Subeta affected by the recent epidemic. After negotiating with one of the prominent members of Zombie Society, Skitters, it has been decided that those who do not wish to be cured may take up residence in Shadowglen Graveyard under the conditions that they do not attempt to further spread the plague. Skitters will be able to keep his now thriving business alive for those of his kind, and all Subeta shops should be out of harm's way.

Chancellor Phoenix would like to remind those still affected by this sickness that Louis L'amour is still creating his cure, Lamouracillin, for all who seek his help.

It's been a long, rough ride, my fellow Subetans, but we lived through to tell the tale and have made history in the process. This is Titania McGee, signing off. Stay gorgeous, Subeta.