Hello, I’m Titania McGee with Channel 5 News, your best source for up-to-date information.
The 6th Anniversary of the Great Pandemic tragedy begins today, a festival commonly known as ‘Survival’ by the citizens of Subeta. You may wish to join the celebration or pay your respects to those that left us in years past. Citizens are reminded that Shadowglen is off-limits for the duration of the Survival Celebration -- The Unliving have their own rituals and do not appreciate intrusion from outsiders. They do, however, welcome fledgling zombies into their community, and whilst there has been a lull population growth for the last two years, we have a certain…dare I say exceedingly handsome? young entrepreneur who may have the solution to this problem. I spoke Mr. Gunner Knight earlier today, and he had this to say about the situation.
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The Underground Needs You!<br />
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Hello out there, infection fans! I’m Gunner Knight, welcoming you to another exciting anniversary of the start of unliving society. I’m also excited to welcome you to the United Zombie Alliance’s (in association with Genetech Labs LLC) thrilling new project, the Voluntary Infection Program.<br />
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Have you ever wanted to join the ranks of the unliving in a safe and controlled environment? Let our dedicated staff match you with one of our approved Infection Specialists in order to get you the disease of your choice! Already infected? Ask our knowledgeable team if becoming an Infection Specialist is right for you!<br />
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Remember, VIP isn’t just an acronym, it’s how you will be treated!<br />
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Hello out there, infection fans! I’m Gunner Knight, welcoming you to another exciting anniversary of the start of unliving society. I’m also excited to welcome you to the United Zombie Alliance’s (in association with Genetech Labs LLC) thrilling new project, the Voluntary Infection Program.<br />
<br />
Have you ever wanted to join the ranks of the unliving in a safe and controlled environment? Let our dedicated staff match you with one of our approved Infection Specialists in order to get you the disease of your choice! Already infected? Ask our knowledgeable team if becoming an Infection Specialist is right for you!<br />
<br />
Remember, VIP isn’t just an acronym, it’s how you will be treated!<br />
<br />
<br /><br />Exciting developments from Shadowglen, indeed! In other news, the eccentric ‘Skitters’ is back in business with his seasonal shop of gifts for the unliving. He had this to say to me when I interviewed him earlier:
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MANY NEW THINGS FOR YOU TO BUY. HUMANS MONEYS JUST AS GOOD. PRICES FOR SKU-AYE APARTMENTS VERY BIG. HAPPY WITH ALL COMMUNITY. NEW ITEMS ONLY, AVAILABLE NOW. OLD ITEMS READY LATER.
Sounds like an excellent shopping experience! And my last interviewee for the day was Louis L’amour, owner of L’amours Parlor.
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Darling, we have oodles of merchandise in the Parlor, here. Come in and have a look! There’s something for everyone. Just bring your heart to me! Candy heart that is. Love is in the air!
This is Titania McGee reporting for Channel 5 News, and frankly, thinking about making a trip to see Mr. Knight myself. Signing off!
Are there going to be male versions (shirts) of the dinosaur dresses in L'Amour's shop?