Kill your hair while standing inside your house.

How do I look at the sun without damaging my vision?

Just tell yourself that Murphy's Law doesn't apply to you.

If some people don't want children, why don't they put any effort to keep it from happening?

because children happens

whats the difference between Celsius and Fahrenheit?

One is the devil's tool, and the other is just made to be confusing.

Why are phones still 1/4 of an inch thick, this far into the 21st century?

So they don't blow away in the wind like paper!

How much candy should you have on Halloween?

Precisely zero.

Why don't people just skip to divorce instead of enduring the BS of marriage?

They cant decide on which lawyer to use

How can we repair the populations of endangered species?

Obviously we just need to kill all of their natural predators. What could possibly go wrong?

How do I pay off my student loans as quickly as possible?

Credit cards. or more loans. like payday advance loans.

How do i get revenge on a scammer?

Give them your full bank details.

How do I fry an egg?

Put it in the microwave.

How do I fix my sleep schedule?

Lots and lots of redbull :)

Where did I leave my notebook?

H.Y.C.Y.BH? watch this helpful video for further assistance! --> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--9kqhzQ-8Q

How can I keep from getting sick?

Going to the grocery store

How do I get to Darkside?

Second star to the right and straight on til morning!

What should I make for a holiday potluck?

Wait until a rainbow appears in the sky, then run to the end of it, where you'll find a pot of gold. Stick a four-leaf clover in it, then decorate it with Christmas lights. Voila! The perfect holiday potluck.

What's the easiest way to make sweet potato pie?

Buy one at the store. Less effort that way.

How do I figure out what gift to get my Significant Other for the holidays?

You wait until the holidays are over, then ask them what they wish they got!

What should I use to get all this ice off my windshield?

simple, you just pour as much liquid nitrogen as you can get your hands on directly onto the glass. it'll clear right up!

what's the best way to move out of the country?

, Mail yourself to what should be a well-known address in your own town.

What is a good excuse for being late to work?