Granted, now you have failed.

I wish Monday was included in weekends.

Granted, and everyday is weekend now! so you don't have to work anymore, no place will hire you anymore because everyday is vacation, and you will not have any income anymore ;D

I wish I can remember to drink more water :P

granted, now you're a cow!

i wish i had more verve

Granted! now you have become a humming bird with a pair of energetic wings that'll never set calm from flapping.

edit: omg sorry lol! I wish I can paint a painting in a instant.

you forgot your wish ;;v;

I wish to be able to change my hair color whenever

wish edited on, sorry lol!

Granted! Your hair color is now ever changing like a pond of oil paint, most of the time it's ugly, aww :(

I wish I can eat cakes all day and never gain weight.

Granted. But the cakes have no sugar or sweetener in them.

I wish that I was a famous poet.

Granted, but you won't be famous when you are still around, aww :(

I wish milk were sweet in nature.

Granted. It will be sweet but beet flavored. ;)

I wish that my tea tins were always full!

Granted, your tea tins are always full! Full of...anything but tea.

I wish tomorrow was another sunday.

Granted, but you still have work/school/etc. Only the name of the day has remained Sunday.

I wish I could overcome my stress.

Granted! You overcome your stress... but increase your anxiety.

you forgot to wish!

I wish I could levitate myself and not have to walk, so I wouldn't need my walker

Granted, but now you can't control how high off the ground you are.

I wish I was always exceeding my sales targets at work.

Okay! But they're actual targets now, and you're going to jail for multiple murders

I wish I could teleport

Okay, but you can only teleport into IKEA showrooms.

I wish I could remember everything I read.

granted, but you have a constant headache from all the knowledge.

i wish i photosynthesize my food like plants do

Granted! But this results in high sensitivity to light and a greater chance of dying from a lack of water.

I wish that I was well rested.

Granted, but it takes ages before waking up (also known as what actually happened to Sleeping Beauty - so did she, poor girl, want to be well rested) ^_^

I wish people would stop tampering with my wishes.

granted, they can't tamper anymore because you can't make any more wishes

I wish for a self-cleaning cat litter box