I'm currently growing my hair out, and because I have curly hair, it's a mess. XD

While I do write my own storylines, I also greatly enjoy really delving into other works that aren’t my own. In particular, fictional characters are especially what draw my interest; I can appreciate a well-developed plotline, but in order to truly connect with it, I have to have a character in which I can relate to. Therefore, characters are just slightly higher on my priority list than the actual storylines themselves, but never doubt that story is significantly important to me as well.

For those that don’t know, my three favorite fictional characters, in order, are Nagito Komaeda (from the Danganronpa franchise), Vaati (from The Legend of Zelda franchise), and Flowey (from the 2015 indie game Undertale), the first of which even being in my forumset here on Subeta, as you can see. And those three CWs correspond to each of them in their own way.

I’d like to take a moment to reiterate that I really am not sure who created this CW, or why, and I mean absolutely no disrespect to the creator and their intentions. This item literally has to be hands down one of my favorite items on the site at this point, however. You can potentially already see some of the correlation between Nagito Komaeda and this CW - namely, the white coloration of the hair. For that reason, this CW immediately brings to mind, for me at least, Komaeda (note: I call him by his last name as he is Japanese, and surname is what is typically referred to there rather than what is defined in the west as a “first name”).

While there is actually an item in my own CW shop that is meant to be a direct reference to his iconic hairstyle, as this particular CW differs drastically, I really love the way this CW looks. Admittedly I’m a bit of a sucker for characters with very light-colored or white hair. It’s absolutely my aesthetic, and if it was at all financially and time-wise efficiently plausible to dye my hair white, I would do so in a heartbeat, for the record. I fervently wish my hair literally looked like this. I’m absolutely in love with it - everything from the shading, to the way the hair falls over the eye, to the flow of the strands. It’s breathtaking. Serious kudos to whoever is the artist/owner of this CW.

I wholeheartedly adore Komaeda, and have ever since I discovered him as a character; he had such a huge appeal to me that I could not stop thinking about him. (It actually got pretty intense at a certain point, early on - to the point where even seeing an image of him in an unexpected place would startle me very badly. I’m not even joking; at one point I literally threw something I was eating because of how badly I was startled, and it was the most innocent of pictures in the corner of someone’s Tumblr theme. I still sometimes have this reaction completely and utterly randomly to seeing Komaeda. I’ve never reacted that strongly to a fictional character before, and I often get incredibly attached to characters - emotionally and mentally, so it’s profound, at least to me.)

Komaeda is such a developed character that it would be impossible for me to explain why he’s this important to me, and how I relate to him, in a way that would be as encompassing as I’d like. I just don’t have the time to do so on this thread. Being concise almost feels like doing him an injustice for how much development he actually has, but in summary, there is a lot of issues he deals with that I relate to, and that hit a very personal cord with me. His viewpoints actually align fairly heavily with my own, too, which is fascinating - and he’s incredibly therapeutic to me, and a way of coping with stress/anxiety/depression actually. Komaeda’s existence as a fictional character literally gives me courage sometimes when I falter, and is a constant source of strength to me. Perhaps it sounds odd to others, that a fictional character can be so encouraging, but again - things like this matter to me an awful lot. They are the primary thing on which I focus my attention and thoughts.

His depth of development also satisfies my need to find the deeper meaning behind all things, and caters to my nature. It’s fun to get lost in thinking of a character, in true understanding, ah. It’s utterly delightful and wholesome in a way that is ineffable.

Fun fact though - this item also reminds me of Vaati, my second favorite character as well, given that his hairstyle actually has his hair over that same eye, very much in the same fashion, so it doubles up for me. I absolutely adore hairstyles that involve hair covering one eye - call it emo all you will, but I enjoy it for an entirely different reason. It draws attention to a singular eye, and well - eyeballs have a very large role in my life, which brings me to my next point -

This is a CW I am the actual owner of (and a color variation can be found in my CW Shop), so I can say for certainty what it’s meant to imply. This particular recolor, for the record, was a limited edition / permanently retired. There are only ten copies of it on site, actually. But anyways, back to the topic at hand - or should I say, “at eye,” rather -

It is hilariously difficult to articulate why I have an absolute obsession with eyeballs. There is actually a 6-page long explanation if you are truly curious (and let me know if you actually want to read it, though I doubt that; it’s not something I by any means expect anyone else to actually read, but I’m grateful to those who did take the time to). It’s very, very personal to me, and is actually wrapped up heavily with my sense of self / identity, and even crosses over into my non-binary / sexual orientation-related feelings. Which, I’m sure, as you all must know, can get tricky to sort out one’s feelings on those matters. My only real “summary” therefore is that eyeballs are a representation of myself - my core - my spirit.

Reading the descriptions I put for my two CWs, Myopic Crop Top and Visionary Crop Top, do shed a little bit of light on some of the symbolism eyes/eyeballs hold for me, though.

Cue Vaati, who is literally a flying eyeball entity, and for several years, was actually my favorite fictional character. (Until Komaeda came into my radar, and now Vaati is second. It isn’t that I love Vaati any less; it’s that I love Komaeda ever-so-slightly more. But each of my favorite fictional characters, I relate to for different reasons.) Vaati… is very much tied with the meaning eyeballs have to me, and his particular role in my life is actually touched on briefly in my 6-page long explanation (which, again, I’m not going to link right now as this is already long enough without that, but it can be found from my profile on Subeta if you do enough digging around for it). Ah… in a nutshell, eyeballs. And also, some of Vaati’s issues overlap to some extent with the same reasons I relate to Komaeda, making that strange overlap in the CW oddly apt as well, though it is merely coincidence, I am sure.

My third favorite fictional character is Flowey, who is literally a golden/yellow flower.

(Real creative name, am I right? Flowey the Flower. It still cracks me up to be honest, and knowing the further meaning behind his name amuses me even more. If you know, you know. I’m not posting Undertale spoilers here.)

Anything flower-related at this point reminds me of Flowey (note: this is literally the reason why my forum title is set to “is a flower child,” for the record; much thanks to one of my friends who knows how much I love him as a character, and gifted me with the appropriate items to gain the title ❤️), but especially golden/yellow flowers. In fact, my same aforementioned friend is also the one who gifted me the Golden Flower Pile CW, for that very reason, though I can’t claim to know what the owner of the CW () intended it to be.

Of all three, Flowey hits home the most for me on emotional levels. Undertale in general actually hardcore aligns with my world viewpoint and personal beliefs, as I believe quite heavily in Compassion towards all things. It’s harder to explain if you haven’t personally experienced Undertale, and I don’t really want to spoil anything of it, but Flowey immediately captured my attention, and is the sole reason I even bought the game to be honest. I’ve never felt anything but absolutely overwhelmingly positive feelings for the character, and love him with all of my heart. Pun(s) intended. Thinking of him actually helps me a lot in dealing with my emotions, and like Komaeda, is very therapeutic in that regard.

(I also have to say, Flowey has literally impacted my speech patterns. The reason my favorite greeting is “howdy!” and also why I say “golly” from time to time is because of him, aha. I’m hopelessly obsessed with the tiny yellow flower friend.)

All three of these are characters I could write entire essays on (and I even started to; they’re so long I haven’t had the time to finish writing out all my thoughts, aha). (I also own the pets Nagito Komaeda and Flowey on this site!) In a gist - Komaeda appeals to my analytical nature the most. Vaati appears to my need for symbolism and thematic motifs. And Flowey appeals to my emotions and feelings. I utilize all three of them just to make life manageable and enjoyable for myself, so they are very much a part of me, in sense, ah.

On a final note - other significant aspects of this HA are the fact that if I had a choice in the matter, I’d love to look like this. Yes, horns, claws, tail, and all. Admittedly I relate less to humanoid things than I do monstrous entities, given my sense of self, but ah. Red is also my favorite color, for the record - and I’m really drawn to this particular color scheme an awful lot. Warm colors are my jam.

Anyways, I apologize for being so lengthy. I very much have a hard time being concise about things, so I’m sorry if this was an inconvenience at all.