You are a monster and I adore you, you horrible, beautiful soul.

I came here again to brag about my robot impregnating a bunch of purple sims (yay for mods) but the story of HELL MAN has left me at a loss for words. What an inspiration.

Once, in the Sims 2, I tried to create a neighborhood that was a barren, Arrakis-style desert world, furnished with small houses and populated with a few couples in grey spacesuits. My intention was to build a population of phenotypically similar (dark hair and eyes, medium skin tone - desert suitable, basically) but otherwise diverse inhabitants. Town residents who looked like they could handle the harsh Fremen lifestyle were married into my seed families and given appropriate outfits, but this left me with the problem of a bunch of remaining randos wandering the town, ruining my aesthetic. As a ruthless and unforgiving god, I solved this problem by introducing one final element: Charles Darwin, Serial Killer.

Charles Darwin was an old white man in a suit and bow tie, who lived in an elaborate estate on the edge of town. I realize this was maybe more conspicuous than the problem I intended to solve, but I had set out on a mission, and also I guess I just thought it was funny. Charles Darwin did not leave his house, except for work and to greet passersby and invite them inside, where he immediately locked them in a series of cells until they starved. Order was restored. A rather impressive personal graveyard appeared in Charles Darwin's backyard.

A consequence that I had not foreseen, however, was the ghosts. There were a lot of them, and their numbers were growing. At night they materialized en masse and floated around the property. Charles Darwin, of course, was a scientist, and I had given him an expensive telescope in return for his service to the community. He liked to go out and play with his telescope at night, which put him right in the path of about a dozen angry ghosts. Every night like clockwork, Charles Darwin would go out to his telescope and just get mercilessly scared by ghosts, over and over, until he peed his pants and cried. Then he would go to bed, wake up to do some murders, and start the whole process over again.

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