Of course! Like I wanted to make a (much more poorly worded) point like yours, but I wasn't exactly sure how to go about it (and didn't want to bungle it up). But exactly, informing people is good, always. A lot of people don't get it, simply because they haven't had access to the information before. It's not your job to be a walking google search and explain exactly why your relationship isn't 'gay,' nor is it acceptable if someone rebukes your request with "but that's still gay, right?" At least it's pretty easy to tell who's going to be malicious or at least willfully ignorant pretty quickly. :p

the worst is when you live with someone of the same gender and nasty neighbors start assuming you're gay. 0.0 like what??? LOL??? actually this happened to a friend of mine. they changed neighborhoods and things calmed down...

well, i think the society i currently live in is waaay interested in who sleeps with whom, what day and what hour.. [i strictly refer to my country/city/... though it can be applied to other areas too, i guess]

OP: well, to be honest.. i too thought that 2 people of same gender having a relationship meant being gay. why is sexual identity so complicated these days? :/ anyways, thank you to everyone sharing their thoughts and personal experiences. this thread helped me understand a bit more. :D

I definitely never have thought so in depth about it.

I'm also in a relationship with a female and I consider myself/us to be gay.

i can definitely understand calling your own relationship(s) gay, and as a nonbinary person dating other nonbinary people it's like. we're not strictly homosexual or anything heck, i'm demi/asex in general and demi/aro at times so i go between being lovey-dovey with my datemates and being disgusted and repulsed by romance; it's weird but the easiest thing for me to call myself when i'm with my bromos is "gay" i guess ?? and i think the reason for it is that straight ppl swung in on their giant normative vine from hell and called every deviating relationship "gay" regardless of whether or not the relationship in question was indeed homosexual and at this point, due to the community's constantly being called "gay" it's now become less of a word to denote homosexuality and more a word to denote any sort of sexuality that is not heterosexual

it's still rude as hell to call someone gay without their permission tho

i don't understand how being asexual has anything to do with your romantic orientation though?

like i'm asexual but that doesn't take away that i'm able to be romantically attracted to people. i'm nonbinary and pan (bi?? whatever) but if i were a woman and attracted solely to other women that would make me a lesbian, even if i am asexual (i'm not trying to dictate your orientation, just using an example here). they're just.. two different things. also i feel like assuming that being asexual directly influences our romantic orientation would harm how people see us e.g. automatically not being attracted to people at all, not just sexually. help me understand your reasoning please?

As my man says "I'm not gay, but my boyfriend is!" <3

It's unfortunate, but most of society sees people as either straight or gay. Sexuality is a spectrum, it isn't black and white! I know it's frustrating to explain to people, but a few years from now, I'm confident that most people will understand.

Anyone else not a big fan of "same-sex" as a term? Technically I'm in a same-sex relationship, but am a woman with a boyfriend. I guess I just dislike the focus on one's (assumed) physiological/medical/w/e characteristics. I suppose "same-gender" sounds rather clunky, though, so there's that.

(Admittedly a lot of the merit of certain terminology boils down to personal tastes/beliefs)

Ugh, so much agree with this. As a bisexual, when the person I chose to marry was the opposite sex, people actually accused me of "Pretending to be Gay before" ??!!??? Even though It was over twenty years ago it still irks. I just avoid talking about it, and my husband and I quietly enjoy both admiring women together.

I think the main reason people will think same-sex relationships are Gay is simply cause they don't know any better. They dont know the terms that people prefer, so its easier to just use a single word even if its wrong. I would say most people aren't trying to be mean or rude, they just dont know so they go with what they think. Heck, I like to think I'm pretty clued up with this sorta thing but still had to check a few definitions on google just to be sure.

This does make me wonder about myself though, I've always just labled myself as Bisexual because its easy and majority(Not all.. especially where I live >.<') of people understand what I'm saying, but I wonder what I truly am. I'm in a sexual and romantic relationship with a male (cismale? I'm new to this term sorry) for starters, I don't strictly identify under the gender binary of female (I'd say I'm 85% female 15%male, and even saying that is hairy XD), I am sexually attracted to females but maybe not romantically (I've never had the chance to try) and also I have racial preferences as well.. That's something I've not seen so far, is there definitions for sexuality of those who are only attracted to one specific race (if not gender within said race)??

Essentially I'm saying most people just don't know the right words cause there's just so many different ones today, and really what should it matter what box someone else puts you in? As long as your happy, those boxes can buzz off :3

I certainly do understand this. My last relationship was with a trans male. I'm a cis girl, and at that point in time I considered myself straight. I'm questioning sexuality/romantic now, but at that point in time, straight was the only thing I had ever seen myself as.

But there was a point in time, with that relationship, when I decided to tell my mum and sisters, and I'm happy to have such an accepting family. But my youngest sister and mum brought up the whole, "So does this mean you're not straight then?" and I literally had to stop myself from physically face palming, because no. I am straight. I am dating a man. He is a man, no matter anything else, which is really none of anyone's business. I had to explain it a few times to get it through to them, but they stopped asking after a bit.