Granted, but as you run outside to celebrate, you get hit by a truck.

I wish my French project wasn't due tomorrow.

: Granted. It's due today.

I wish I were at an anime convention, having a great time with my friends.

Granted, but then they all ditch you and you're stranded with no way to get home.

I wish my mom would order pizza.

Granted, but you get severe food poisoning from the pizza.

I wish it were cold so that I could wear my kitty hat again.

Granted, but your kitty hat turns to ice and shatters.

I wish my muse would come back.

granted, but he decides to blow up the world as a part of the festivities

i wish literary research papers never existed

Granted, but something worse takes its place.

I wish I didn't have to take my medication.

granted but you die due to the lack of it. I wish I could bring the characters of books to life.

Granted, but they're just as stiff and lifeless as the pages they were printed on.

I wish belligerent people would leave me alone.

granted, but then obnoxious people take their place

i wish i could fix congress

granted, but then you discover that you have a tapeworm in your intestines

i wish i had more free time

Granted, but some spiteful being in the cosmos decides that it's time for the world to end.

I wish I had magic powers.

Granted, but they are very limited in scope, and they take a lot of energy to use.

I wish my evolutionary biology paper was done.

granted, but it's done poorly and you fail

i wish i could sleep for the next 15 hours with no consequences

Granted, but after the 15 hours you can never sleep again.

I wish tomorrow would be great.

granted, but the rest of your life after tomorrow is terrible

i wish i didn't have to go to school tomorrow

Granted, but in the morning your teacher emails you all the lessons, homework, and even a test...and expects it to be done by that afternoon.

I wish I could meet my celebrity crush. ^_^

Granted: But they mistake you for a stalker and have you arrested.

I wish I could move to Canada.

Granted, but you find that the grass isn't quite as green on that side of the fence as you thought it would be.

I wish my skin was absolutely flawless.

Granted, but then your hair falls out.

I wish I had perfect vision.