Granted, but because forever ended today, you create a time paradox because you never made the wish to begin with!

I wish for two sodas and some chips.

Granted, enjoy the sodium.

Mine wish weather cease to be.

Granted, but now crops die and humanity suffers.

I wish for permanent financial stability.

Granted, your financial success is followed by your demise. All was in vain, money in the bank.

Mine wish the Earth, as a whole, wage total war against humanity.

Humanity falls, without their maintenance nuclear plants and other such deadly man-built things cause irreversible damage; leaving the Earth devoid of all life.

I wish I was a robot.

Granted, but all you're programmed to do is dance The Robot.

I wish I could turn my hearing off and on at will

Granted, but every 5th time you turn your hearing off, you projectile vomit

I wish I could teleport

Granted but you cannot control it and teleport to a random location anytime you feel a strong emotion

I wish I could reprogram my brain.

Granted, but the new software is no longer supported after a week, and you can't export the files, so you lose all memories of the week your brain worked as you wanted it to and everything that happened that week.

I wish someone would do all my quests for me for a week.

Granted, but they end up liking Subeta so much they decide to keep your account!

I wish I could perfectly draw anything I think of

Granted, but then you get artist's block.

I wish I had a cat.

Granted, you're now the proud owner of a lion.

I wish I could dance

Granted, but now you can never stop dancing!

I wish tomorrow were a beautiful rainy day.

Granted, but now the streets are flooded and there's water coming from everywhere

I wish for beauty

Granted, but now you have too many admirers.

I wish for ice cream

Granted, but you get wicked brain freeze

I wish I could walk through walls

You've never seen Life after People, have you?

Granted, but you fall through the ground during sleep.

Mine wish wealth be noxious to health.

granted, but anyone that possesses wealth shall be able to buy the best medical care in the world

i wish i could learn every skill in the world

Granted. But now you spend all your time learning skills and have no time for just having fun.

I wish wild crows would bring me presents

granted, but the presents are all haunted

i wish i had a leather jacket