For example, you're in public and someone mutters the "F-word" as they pass you by. How would you react? Would you keep walking and ignore them? Retort? What would you do?

Usually tell them to go f themselves but that's definitely not always the safest option.

edit: Words cannot describe how much I loathe the phrase "don't stoop to their level." Don't let anyone tell you that you're on the same level of bigots if you get angry and yell at them because you're the target of bigotry and you're sick of it. You could never be on the same level as them unless you're also a bigot.

"Don't sink to their level" is a silencing tactic and that is not okay.

Note: I'm not saying you need to say something in response to bigotry. It's often wise to stay safe and not respond. It's also totally okay to not say anything if you're scared, anxious, whatever. There are definitely times when the best option is to speak up (we all need to do our part to fight bigotry) but there are times when, if you're too anxious, it's best for your own personal safety to stay silent.

I just take issue with silencing people by saying that responding to bigots is "sinking to their level."

Quite frankly... my best advice is don't stoop to their level. They're beneath response.

Stay safe. :c

asdfghjkl honestly i just laugh it off and go on with my life 😂 it has happened enough times that i don't really mind and like...... my mates and i call myself the f slur constantly so i just treat it as any other insult

tho i did have this neighbour in my second year of university who was..... something else oof deadass twenty minutes after meeting him he goes 'there are a lot of faggots in the uk' and i was just?? excuse me?? he was from kazakhstan and had a v thick accent so maybe i thought i either misunderstood or he used the wrong word but uh, then he went 'you know, homosexuals' and i was just

and he used to make vaguely homophobic comments whenever he saw me and it was just surreal™ also like....... how tf do you even try to guess someone's sexuality just from their appearance?? maybe he saw me hugging a male friend?? what the fuck

oh yeah one time when i was 17 and absolutely hammered i got called the f slur from a guy across the street so i walked up to him and punched him in the face and got the shit beat out of me 0/10 would not recommend trying to fight someone bigger and stronger than you especially while drunk (honestly there's a lot more to the story but it was a long time ago and i was very drunk but i def take 100% responsibility lmao should not have punched him)

Keep walking. If they said it ...to...you then they are wanting confrontation (Attention but bad, fight). Might be that they were just saying it and it wasn't necessarily for you at all. Either way, It doesn't need any attention at all. Does it draw you in to the NEGATIVE ENERGY?

depends on the situation, always consider your safety first!!! i'm from nyc, so i just yell back at them and curse them out. and i'm usually not the only one cursing them out lol safety in numbers bb

@ Rameses I would try to ignore. :/ It's their insecurity talking out. they most likely got "excited" and they want to prove they're "real men" something. LMAO! but, most likely, i'd try to ask them "what's your problem with me being that? shouldn't you worry more about your own sexuality and sins?"

whatever you do, please consider your safety. i don't think slurs are worth causing a dangerous situation.

@ Thespian most likely, as a foreigner, that neighbor didn't know how bad it was to say those things. maybe he was secretly gay, and was hoping to meet someone? who knows.. i'm not saying what he said/how he acted was ok, just that when it comes to foreigners, we should try and be a bit more understanding, as they come from a different culture with different standards.. though, it appears that same-sex couples have some recognition in Kazakhstan, though their rights are limited compared to straight couples. according to Wikipedia.

ye i had a friend tell me that too but in all honesty........ i just don't really think it's my problem 😂 the guy was just a horrible neighbour all around from knocking on my door high out of his mind at 3 am asking for bread to smashing his mailbox (i assume he lost the key??) to literally petting my head at starbucks one time. i didn't even care about his weird fixation with gays i just avoided the guy like the plague asdfghjkl

wow, what a weirdo... He probably thought the mailboxes needed something "extra" and he gave them something... interesting? made them stand out LOL 😂 And, yes of course it's NOT your problem.

"Can you please explain to me why you thinks it's ok to speak to me that way?"

Put them on the spot. Make them fumble their words.

Someone who does something like that is acting on an impulse designed to cause a reaction.

Ignoring that impulsive action and denying them the ability to get a "reward" from it - seeing you get angry or upset, for example - makes many people incredibly upset.

It's psychological. They did something and got nothing out of it. The human brain doesn't want to reward that sort of outcome, so it punishes the person in some way. That's why people get so angry when you ignore them, or why children have meltdowns when you tell them "no."

The best thing you can do is ignore someone like that. Let them stew in the hell of their own design. 🔥

“Don't take the bait,” is almost always the smartest choice, even if it isn't the most satisfying. Ignore them and move away quickly. Better safe than sorry, people like that can be dangerous.

I tried telling off someone who called a black homeless woman a racial slur and she responded by calling me a fat fuck and following me down the street to start a physical fight. Poppet is right - nobody will defend you when you're getting your ass beat. They're concerned about protecting themselves!

Oh crud, I got lost in my thought and missed that you said 'homophobic'. Same principle applies - this person was insulting everyone, so I'm sure she's called people homophobic slurs, too.

I look them dead in the eye and say, "Really?" If they're a coward and try to dodge me, I'm gonna follow them and tell them to explain to me what the hell that was just now. I will appeal to humanity and shame first and foremost; if I'm just looking to put them on the spot, I'll demand they explain themselves and ask why they felt it necessary to say something like that. Even if I get them with nothing but the direct eye contact, I'm gonna let them know I'm a human being they just needlessly lashed out at. And I hope if it won't bother them tonight, it's gonna bother them someday, when they grow up and know better.

That being said, I've also definitely gone stonecold outrageous and slammed a few folks into some walls when they get venomous or level this shit at people who are NOT me. Stand up for yourself to the degree you'll keep safe; don't take the bait with people who look like they're TRYING to start something and just need an excuse to jump you. Don't do anything that'll get you followed home by bastards. Stick up for yourself too, though. If you know you'll be stewing later, wishing you'd said something or retaliated, do it. Homophobic language is, by design, meant to dehumanize you. No one should tolerate attacks on their very personhood; it's disrespectful on a level that it should be called out immediately and on the spot.

Also, fight dirty when it gets physical.

I won't say what anyone should do, I'm just gonna throw in my two cents:

There are literally no intelligent arguments against homosexuality. Homophobia is therefore unreasonable. If you had a conversation with the people who throw out slurs and asked them why they didn't like gay people or what they think is wrong with homosexuality, you will find they can't articulate their reasons very well, or try to use their religion (usually one of the Abrahamic ones) as an excuse when no one is able to follow their religion's rules or commands completely. You don't see people getting crap for working on a Sunday or whatever day they think the sabbath is, and that's one of the 10 commandments. There are verses calling for the death of whoever breaks that rule. There are many, many other rules and expectations from those religions that are also unreasonable. Everyone cherry picks from them. I'm also an atheist, so I'm pretty sure their god doesn't exist anyway, but many gay people are religious so I just put out the argument that most religious people are hypocrites and the hate against gays is unwarranted on their part

If they call being gay a choice, honestly, you can't will yourself into being attracted to someone, and shouldn't be forced into being with someone you are not attracted to, because that makes all parties involved unhappy. How many straight couples break up because they can't feel attraction to their partner anymore? (I also personally believe whether or not it's a choice is irrelevant because I see nothing wrong with it, but it's a common argument based on religious beliefs).

If they say it's unnatural, homosexuality is not unnatural because it's documented in many species, especially intelligent, social ones who mate for reasons other than reproduction. It is also a natural human behavior, because if you see a certain behavior all throughout history, all over the world, and it happens independently of each other, then it's part of our nature. And yes, there are natural behaviors that are also bad because they harms others -- like murder, and then things that are unnatural are not necessarily bad. This argument is invalid. Gay genes also do exist, which refutes this "argument" and the last one based on religious beliefs about it always being a choice.

If they say "Well, if everyone was gay, there'd be no more people!" this is stupid because natural selection literally won't allow this to happen. Obviously, most people are straight. and some gay people do choose to reproduce.

Other "arguments" aren't even relevant because they over-generalize and make assumptions about a person's character based solely on their sexual preference. Others are complete strawmen and bring up things unrelated to homosexuality.

I try to tell my gay friends this because I think it's better when you realize those people are literally wrong and not very bright, and you have no reason to allow slurs to make you somehow feel bad about yourself. Instead you should feel a sense of superiority, because they have no intellectual foundation. There is a great sense of empowerment when you know you are right, and I wanted to throw this out there to help maybe calm people who feel enraged whenever they have to deal with this situation. There's reason to be angry, yes, as these views are still prominent in many areas and hurt many people, but anger isn't always a useful response in the moment. Calm, collected reasoning can be a very powerful tool.

Allow yourself to look at someone who thinks homosexuality is wrong the same way you would look at a child who thinks there's a leprechaun with a unicorn horn and fairy wings in their basement.

It depends. If the person looks kind of scary or much bigger than me (lol) I will just rip them limb from limb in my mind. But if the person looks like someone I could take in a fight (not that I ever hope it to go that way) I'll stop and try to have a conversation with them to try and get them to think about things in a different way. But I only confront people if there are others around. Except online, where I have been known to curse someone into oblivion.

It definitely depends on how safe you feel in that setting, with that person, etc. I generally find the kind of person to be so scared of being "infected" by my gayness or of the gayness they already have within them. So then I kind of picture them like an 8 year old, which makes it both funny and sad. Like dang dude, you're really that afraid of yourself/me? I didn't realize I was so terrifying! I haven't been the recipient of the f-slur, but the d-slur for sure, and generally my reaction is to laugh with mirth and maybe say "Ohokay." It shows them they aren't hurting me and that they just sound pathetic.

Edit: Sorry for commenting on such an old post :O it wasn't that far down so I didn't think twice about it. Whoops.