I don't know if this belongs here, but this is where I'm putting it, so... yeah.

My mental health is... not great. Depression and anxiety have been eating away at me more and more every day. It's become something more than that, though. I've accepted a promotion at work, but with it comes me facing one of my biggest fears in life: driving.

To shed a little light on that

In like a single year of high school, right when you're getting your learner's permit, some ridiculous number of classmates died from car crashes (15 classmates died that year, but I believe two or three of them were health related and not due to a car crash) and it scared the living daylights out of me. Not to mention I had the super uncool parents who made me nervous as hell (Dad pulling the whole "Stop! Oh, okay, no, you'll make it you can go. NO STOP! Okay, you're fi-- STOP!" until I was halfway out in an intersection with a car now very quickly approaching when they had previously been like 3 blocks away and Mom screaming and jerking the wheel and saying I'm going to hit cars parked on the side of the road then laughing in my face).

But also with the promotion comes all the extra responsibilities and really getting to know people from Corporate. I've been the Bakery Lead, and am currently the Deli Lead, but now I'm looking at Qualified Assistant -- and that means should a Food Service Manager position become open, I would be put up for it. So I would oversee both departments. And this is fine. I'm getting a little backlash from some of the crew (don't want to take orders from someone younger, some people have been there longer than me, etc) but for the most part I've handled it fine. I've put my foot down with them, and been stern when I've needed to be, but also I've tried to be very open and accommodating when they've come to me with issues/ideas/needs/etc. We've had a lot of call ins and no call, no shows lately, and this is putting the crew on edge, because of having to pick up extra hours/slack, and I totally understand it.

Just yesterday we had a NCNS from someone who is known for doing this, and it threw the entire day off.

Not only did I come in and have the responsibility of ordering all of our product, doing markdowns and other day-to-day needs to keep it running smoothly, but I now had to do her job of opening the salad case and setting the grab & go selection of meats and cheeses, but I also had 5 specialty trays due by noon, and my mid-shift person who is responsible for doing freight is pregnant -- but because of her age, she's a high risk pregnancy, so she can't lift over 15lbs, so now I also have to do her job. Everyone I called just couldn't come in at all, or couldn't come in any earlier. 2pm rolls around, I finally got freight unloaded (because Dairy hadn't unloaded their stuff from the pallet, so I had to sort through the entire thing just to get our product) and up to the department, and I'm starting to work it to the sales floor. I ask associate A to get pizzas out of the freezer to fill, does so no problem. Ask associate B to make a tray that's due at 3:30, and they hesitate before saying okay, then they ask associate C to finish the task they were currently doing because I asked them to do the tray. C slams down the piece of meat they had in their hand and say "SURE! I guess Grab & Go can just wait then!" I immediately came back around the corner and said "Someone else can do freight and I can do the tray, but either way both tasks need to be done. I'm sorry! We're down an entire body in this department, and I'm trying my best to get everything done, but I'm one person and I can't do it all, so I need some help." This level of interaction has been very taxing on me, and there are days where I come home and I don't know if I want to cry or scream or do both.

So mix my stress/depression/anxiety and add in my frustration with Subeta, and I'm kind of just not doing good. And I'm not like "OH MAN SUBETA SUCKS I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE" but it's more of personal-I-need-to-get-over-it frustration. I have so many goals on this site and I love this site to pieces. I get hot and heavy into it when I set goals for myself (Survival about killed me this year, you guys)... and I'm a very data driven person. I love tracking goals and progress. I had a forum group that I used to use to track daily quest profit by quest giver, the sP I made in my shop per 24hrs, REs I'd get, what great restocks I had for the day, etc., then I joined an actual no-focus group called Unique (I love you guys so much!) and there was a quest tracker started on the boards, and I got all hot and heavy into it again and swore I was going to quest every day this year (to the best of my ability, I know life happens), I wanted to have 1b for the first time ever by the end of this year! And then I noticed in tracking my numbers... that steadily, every day, I was getting less and less and less in return from quests. To the point that it was up to a difference of ~2m a day. And I'm not talking Weekend Quests vs. regular quests. Like Tuesday vs Wednesday. An entire difference of like ~2m. I could feel myself becoming very unmotivated very quickly. I don't want to burn myself out on Subeta.

With all of that being said, I looked at my husband today, and I told him that I think I need a social internet hiatus.

1. I will still log in from time to time to keep my account "active" (I would be very sad to lose pet names on top of everything else), but I have no intention of actually doing anything. Leaving profile comments and/or sMails will most likely be the best way to get my attention if you need me. I have no intention of leaving every ping group I'm a part of, which means I'm going to come back to thousands of event notifications, which also means I'm just going to clear them without actually checking. The things I will manually check, in the case, will be profile comments and sMail.
2. I intend to leave every discord server I'm a part of. Some of you have me as a friend on Discord -- feel free to toss me a DM any time you want. If I'm at my computer, and/or feel okay to respond, then I will. I might even toss you a random message myself just to check in on you. But opening Discord on a daily basis and seeing hundreds of notifications has been nothing but pure nightmare fuel for me.
3. Not many of you have me on FB, but those of you who do, probably have noticed that I've been inactive on there pretty much since the election of our President. If you want to reach me, I promise you doing so here is your better option.
4. Since I'm taking a hiatus, that means I won't meet my active participation requirement for Unique, and so I will have to say goodbye to the group. :( I hope once my mental health is back in order to re-apply if you all would have me back.

If anything is SUPER DIRE IMPORTANT THIS CAN'T POSSIBLY WAIT FOR ME TO CHANCE UPON SEEING IT (such as health issues and important life events) you might be able to get a hold of me quicker through my husband or best friend but neither of them are 100% active here, either. But it's another chance to get my attention quicker if needed!

Massive Pings

@/Cresenta @/Nova @/Turtle @/Anberlin @/sanguine @/Illayna @/Ursa @/Adaar @/Trithie @/Bear @/Aeleniel @/Air @/Anthology @/Beren @/Blazhy @/Cheriuki @/ColorWIRED @/Corvus @/Cullen @/flyingkat @/forcryingoutloud @/Foxes @/Hanzo @/ImpalaFreak8877 @/Jibrille @/Kimmee @/Kudamon @/Lavellan @/LexicalGal @/Ligress

Hope the hiatus brings you the peace of mind that you're looking for! Best of luck buddy! <3 hugs

: Good luck. We're rooting for you.

Oh gosh , you're going through so much right now! -hugs- I understand the feeling of frustration with Subeta (I experienced it for nearly 6 months last year!), and though I cannot relate with everything you're feeling, I do know what it's like to be super stressed with work and coworkers -hugs-

Regarding Unique, rest assured that you'll be welcomed back to our group with open arms when things calm down -hugs-

I totally understand... All of that. I hope the hiatus helps and that things calm down at work. Feel free to shoot me an sMail if you ever want to vent to someone who understands the whole grocery store anxiety and frustration thing.

<3 <3 in your corner, always.

Hang in there, Ria. I've been there before too, so I totally get it. Take care of yourself first and foremost, and rest easy knowing you can come back to Subeta whenever you're ready. If you'd like to, you're welcome to add me on Discord (Zonra#2550)

I totally support this! When my work gets crazy, social media is also the first to get tossed out. At the end of a day, subeta is just a pet site. So take care of yourself first!

Bonus kudos for being so open about sharing all this with us and giving us the heads-up. :)

health always is the most important thing (that and family) Depression is one heavy thing!

Take care of yourself, please!

I wish I could do something to help you, but I am sure your Hubby and friends will do all they can - still, if you need anything I can provide, please feel free to let me know!

hugs

supporting you on this. I know all too well how hard social media can be on a persons mental health, don't feel guilty for self care! We will still be here when you feel up to returning :) Many hugs and support, and know you got this, on driving! My family is much the same but I had no where near the intense level (classmates) but I do understand the hard pressure of facing your fears all while jobs and everything coming down on you, its so much stress at once. Hopefully once you get settled further in this job will be rewarding for you, it sounds like you are already doing a great job with your coworkers!! Take as long as you need and feel out what level you want of your life of social stuff as you have enough to contend with irl! If you'd still like an event partner around here also and dont want to chat Im available to help, or also its cool to skip them entirely! , I hope you have a good hiatus that allows you to breathe! that being said,if you need to talk, unload your work stress, or whatever, please feel free to add me, my discord is listed on my profile ...and I will not bug you unless you say to poke ya! ( though i might be like 'hey ya doing fine?' once in a moon because, you know, cannot help but care...XD) Have a lovely hiatus and hope to see you again when you return!

I try to take a break at least once a year when I can, otherwise I go off on an very intense emotional roller coaster. I hope everything at work settles and people begin to treat you with the respect you have more than earned. If you're getting the same people doing no-call, no -shows, it may be time to start looking into new employees. You gotta do what you gotta do.

-big hugs-

Enjoy the mental relaxation break, and hopefully it'll give you some actual relax time when home so you don't always feel like you're about to crack <3

Take the time away you need Ria, do what you feel is good for you <3 <3 <3 hugs Just a thing about Discord, you should be able to mute servers and receive no notifications, though you do what you want and feel is the best <3 Take care, I'll be here when you come back :)

Hang in there honey. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. You know if you need to vent I’m always here for you <3 I hope your hiatus can help <3

Hugs <3 Please definitely reapply once you feel comfortable on Subeta again. I pretty much ditched Facebook 2-3 years ago and it's been the best thing ever for my mental health. I wish you success in your career. <3

Love you sweetie. You take care of you and do what you feel is best for your well being. Know that we are all here for you, always. <3

I hear you sweet, that is pretty much how I am lately on here, you take care of yourself and will always be here i needed

It sounds like your coworkers need to grow up, goodness gracious.

Good luck with everything and take all the time you need to. <3

I hope your hiatus helps you to feel less anxious and depressed. Be strong. You've amazing friends here and you can count with us always that you need to vent. ILY

Take care of yourself that is the most important!! <3 <3 congrats on the promotion as well! I know more work can be super stressful!

Lots of love dear! I tried messaging you on Discord, but apparently we never became "friends" there so it wouldn't let me. I sent a friend request, but you can ignore it if you want.

Side note: You can mute group pings on Subeta which I highly recommend doing so you don't come back to a billion notifications.

Hugs and much love and peace

we are always here when you need us