There you go~! It didn't really matter if you read or not. I just wanted you to have all of it so you didn't have to wait for the next piece~

--- onto the second part ---

-Too much repetition for my liking, but feel free to keep it if you want. Also the first time I've had to correct your grammar, which I really appreciate. Something I also appreciate, which has nothing to do with this sentence, is your British spelling. Even though I'm American I use the -sed instead of -zed spellings of words (realise, apologise, organise, etc.) and it's just satisfying to read. The Z just looks weird...and the red-underline on computer makes me sad.

-This is a joke. A stupid joke that I had to make, sorry. I actually love the frog simile and metaphors. Also I love the regression the is shown her as well as in this sentence, which needed a couple structure changes imo:Love it.

-'Drops' is a little too dramatic and shows too much urgency for the situation. Unless of course you are highlighting that Kylo is, in fact, being urgent and not caring for grace or her knees. It also highly contrasts with the "stand[ing] in a fluid motion" she just did to get up. Maybe something along the lines of:

"Kylo gracefully bends down and kneels next to Rey..."

I'm not sure if Kylo needs to say 'Here' unless you really want show the character verbally and as well as physically making the offer. I would just:

"Kylo gracefully bends down and kneels next to Rey, fills the plastic glass with water and holds it out for her to take."

After which you can still include Kylo's verbal offer if you'd like, but I feel like it would only be necessary if Rey weren't paying attention again.

-The first change is preference since I personally don't like the two 'and's so close together. Did you mean for there to be two 'ever's? I actually like the emphasis, but there should be a comma or a period after 'exist' depending on how much emphasis you want. The commas are also a stylistic choice, I don't think you need them, but it reads smoother with them there.

-This was too much of a run-on for my liking? Purely a stucture/style preference.

-Change 'and then' to 'before' and maybe add an adverb after 'tucked'? Like 'greedily' or 'lovingly' or something like that. I love the second sentence, but how does she catch herself? "...catches herself against a wall." "...catches her footing." or you could even change 'catches' to 'steadies' or 'rights'. A great sentence, but there is opportunity for a more vivid image there.

GAH. That last paragraph is gold. Beautiful work; you are a great writer~

thank you so much for both the praise and the help! there were some things you included in there that were bothering me re:wording but i wasn't sure how to fix, so thanks for that. and some other stuff i didn't realise needed changing but is better for it! also some stuff i ignored bc i'm stubborn, but you were still very helpful and thank you a lot. i'm gonna reread this again later, i was beginning to lose words and there's probably stuff that i missed.

this story is a new experience for me, because i normally labour over exact word choice, and spend ages deliberating this stuff for myself, either as i go or nitpick stuff when i edit. but this fic i've been trying to just plow ahead. so i'm kind of like, wow! actual edits i didn't catch!

i don't wanna overestimate how much you actually like this vs must edit thing in front of you, but the first 4 chapters are here, if you are interested. ^-^

also: carrying laptop places has its own ideas of editing...

Anytime~! I love to write but it takes me about 8000 years to actually finish anything (hello 5 started, unfinished projects and like 4 more that I haven't even started), so I actually enjoy editing more. The refining process is so fun, plus I love to help people~

Yeah...that ended up as a lot of text that was hard even for me to reread, so definitely take your time with it. XD

Oh my god I absolutely understand the struggle with the word choice. 😩 I know the joke about novels and such is "the author couldn't have possibly meant for the closing curtains to represent a death shroud" or something like that, but no...sometimes just that much thought is put into a piece. When I write I usually have a dictionary and thesaurus tab open. I started off writing poetry and literally every word is pivotal, especially when you have syllable or word limitations. I have an extremely bad habit of making the first draft the final so every sentence is hell...

Which is why I am so jealous/proud/happy that you can just push through and write what's in your head even if it's not the 100% finished and final product. That is so important to be able to do. 😱

I will definitely give it a go~! I might end up stopping since I seriously don't know a lot about Star Wars, at all, but from what I know and have read I'm intrigued! It might be a bit before I sit down and read, but I'll let you know when I do~ :D

LOL at the keyboard smash. I think that just needs some quotes around it and it's ready to go, yeah? xD

i'm just the same, it's why i'm trying so hard on this one to actually get it out there and finished. i still don't really know how to drafts either, but i'm making myself be like, good enough! just tell the damn story! no-one else is gonna except maybe the other person who lives in your head but even then you only got one set of hands!

maybe when i'm done with the whole thing i'll go back and make more edits, just shine up the whole project. like i'm not really entirely satisfied with chapter 1, which is a weird feeling for me.

on the other hand, my other current piece of writing, the good thing about plastic flowers, i haven't updated in aaaages... still picking away at chapter 2, trying to get enough of it written to post. but that's more slice of life, so its a lot more detaily than this one, and this one i have a lot more threads to follow. i've actually run into the problem of not lingering enough, i'm so excited to get to future parts, i wanna let kylo and rey actually sit down and talk about things, and hux is also going to corner rey for a conversation, and i can't wait to introduce the rest of the knights, and have finn and rey talk more about everything that's going on.... there's a lot, i love having excuses to make characters talk about shit.