That is so terrible. I'm sorry you have to deal with that in addition to grieving :( Really fucking sucks. He sounds really toxic

I'm very sorry.. :( Really wish there was something to be done, what he does is not right st all... and acting as such during a difficult time. It's mind boggling how someone could be that way.

I don't know what to say. I'd imagine, times like these are for uniting and supporting one another. I'm sorry you're going through this. hugs

I cant imagine how you must be feeling, Im so sorry to hear :(

I'm so sorry you're going through this. My thoughts are with you as well, and I hope things get easier with time. Is there any way you guys can get space from your dad? Somewhere else to stay for a little bit? You shouldn't have to deal with that gross toxicity while you guys are grieving. :

I'm so sorry you're having to go through that on top of everything else. I hope you can get some time away from your dad. Your family needs to grieve, not deal with him. Wishing for the best. hug

I'm going to have to make a decision on cutting him out of my life after all of this.

Thank you for your condolences.

I am so sorry for your loss, my condolences. I lost my mother in 2016 and we didn't have much of a relationship either due to the fact her addiction over saw everything in our lives at that time.

Though...I like to think that she knew I really loved her and didn't want anything, but the best for her.

I know a lot of people will tell you that it is going to be okay, and it will be, but I will go ahead and be brutally honest with you. The pain doesn't change, it doesn't go away, it scars over. It gets a little easier to live with. And it DOES come with time. You will always miss them, but so long as you keep their memory...well they are not truly gone. An essence of them is with you and will always be.

Give yourself time...pain can not be measured in any other unit, because all other units are false. Only time.

so sorry to hear. So sorry you're going through this. It will never be easy, but I hope that it gets easier for you.

I'm sorry for your loss and for all the things you, your family and him must have been through due to his chronic sickness. I understand how you feel a little bit. I lost my mother three years ago, she was very young and it's still hurts like I live in a completely parallel world. It was very complicated to deal with it, we even had a small fight while she started to get sick and I regret that and lots of other things I did during my life when I was younger, even if it's not related to her sickness. But I loved her and I know she loved me, I couldn't explain how much I loved her and I can only think that I'm the only one who can understand how much I loved her. That's what counts. Everyone regret something that they did or didn't. My mom passed away looking at me and holding my hand, but couldn't talk or move properly in bed due to her cancer and chemo complications, that's something I will never accept, not being able to hear her. I hope she saw me.

Guess I had to talk about it too, even if it's been years.

So you are not alone if you ever feel confused or regret. That changes you, that's certain, but if you ever want to talk, call your friends or if you don't have someone to talk you can always do what you did and talk to the community here. I can see they are very open minded with a big heart.

Thank you. I woke up one day and the whole guilt thing was gone. I know that my brother woduln't want us to feel guilty and burden ourselves with the "colud'ves, would'ves, should'ves". It is what it is and I can't change that.

The service is this Friday.

I was also confused today. Thought it was Wednesday and then my dad said "It's Tuesday". Awhile ago I thought it was Thursday.

My Doctor did see me on an emergency visit. I got some sleeping meds that's safe to take with sleep apnea. I was on those before. I have enough for two weeks and I go back and see him.

Glad to hear an update from you.

I've had that happen many times, thinking it was one day when it was actually another.

Glad you got some safe medication to take, I hope they help!