I have thought of you often since you first mentioned what a tough time you are having with your grandmother. I do completely understand, I am caring for my husband who has Alzheimers, and it is often an extremely frustrating and thankless task. Lockdown has vastly affected people with dementia, especially as they really don’t understand what has is going on and why life has to change. I am sure your grandmother is in a similar situation.

Do you have any support, or are you dealing with this alone? I know I am on the wrong side of the Atlantic so might not be able to respond immediately, but please pm me any time, even if it’s just to rant.

Take care love xx

Thank you guys, just the ability to vent helps alot. Yes Opundo, the plan is to still put her in assisted living, infact tomorrow is the D-Day, and she's been fighting tooth and nail to try to stop it. She picks fights, throws tantrums, and is an all over terror.

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with Alzheimer's on your end Cassygee, especially being your husband, that is a pain I can only vaguely imagine. Thankfully I do have my parents who are also suffering through this (she's my Dad's mother), as well also understand how much of a witch she is. So I do have a support system, we're all basically circled around each other praying to God everything goes through smoothly tomorrow.

While dementia is bound to have frustration, anger, and belligerent responses at times, my Granny has never been....a nice person. She is a textbook narcissistic control freak who uses guilt and insults to force everyone under her thumb. Everything has to be her way, she is always right, never apologizes, and no matter what abuse she inflicts on you, the minute you retaliate she plays the victim and wails and rages about how dare you turn on her when she's done so much for you!! (I'll give you a hint: she never did anything for someone unless it benefited her or her image, or forced them to owe her.)

Now add that whole entire mess to a regressing mind that still thinks it's fine and refuses to believe otherwise because she's perfect. She was a demon before, now she is 10x more of a demon.

I honestly wish I could just tranquilize her for the trip down to the assisted living place to know she won't grab for the wheel or try to hit me on the way. ;_;

After tomorrow if all goes well then atleast one stressor is off my back, and parents and I can work on breaking down the houses properly without her interference. There's not much I can do for my young cousin (he's 15) other than be there when asked for, but atleast he's alive, even if he's having to be watched. If I can make it to next year without a full mental breakdown I'll call it an accomplishment.

Lumineve is right around the corner ! ^^

Colony Rewards Update The following people have earned these Hive Ranks in the last month:

• Longtime Member: queen

• The last Crossword of the year is here! Can you figure out the names of the images and where they fit in order to complete this puzzle?
• A new Lottery has begun! Think you'll hit the jackpot?
• Coming soon, right after this month's big celebration, Buzz Off: Silent Auctions will open for you to spend your PP (or sP, or both) on a maximum of 10 items from the Group's Safe! Buzz Off will be hosted from December 26th - 29th, and offers will be accepted or rejected on the 30th.

Finally, don't forget the current activities are underway and the last day to participate is on December 31st:

• 20 Days of Luminaire (exceptionally ends on December 20th!)
• December's Checklist
• December's Goals & Challenges

I went through the same thing with my Grandmother, it completely ruined our relationship. I know deep down it wasn't her fault but it still hurt every time she said something awful and mean. If you need to talk, you can always PM me!

This lockdown is really having an effect on me, finally. I was doing okay, doing okay, even with the girls at home virtual schooling.

Then a few weeks ago our friends Mom died and I just basically had a mini breakdown. It wasn't fair that I couldn't hug him, that the funeral was so small and a lot of people couldn't get closure.

And now my mom is sick and in the hospital and I can't even call, let alone visit, because they request that only one family member calls for updates as the nurses and doctors are so overwhelmed. And while I get it... it sucks. Big time.

I'm just.. over everything right now. The end. :P

I'm so sorry for the tough times you're going through; I can't even imagine. :(

This has been such a challenging year, and even more challenging for some than others. Please take care of yourself! hugs

Thanks <3 I'm actually doing mostly okay righ tnow. I think it helps that it's the most magical time of the year.

Telling the girls was rough, and not really knowing what's going on is rough. Today I picked up a bunch of books from the library on grief and death and dying and such appropriate for Lily and Iz, and the librarian that helped fulfill my curbside order was SO helpful, but she cried picking them out, she said. Which made me feel a bit awful. But she picked out some great ones, and also some silly Christmas and winter books, so. I don't know.

I think, without trying to make things somewhat magical right now, it wouldn't be good at all. But instead, there's gingerbread houses, and cookies to decorate, and magic for all of us to spread and that's kind of nice. And distracting. :P

And awww, thank you Anon, who I'm sure was from here. <3<3<3<3 That was sweet!

I’m so sorry to hear what you are going through, this year has truly been dreadful for so many. I can’t imagine how you are feeling, but I am sending virtual hugs to you and prayers for your Mom. xxx

I hope everything went well the other day and your grandmother has settled or at least accepted life at the assisted living. Is your cousin getting professional help? Do take care of yourself love, and try to enjoy the holidays, sending hugs xxx

I heard one tip for handling 2020 is to "find pleasant distractions". So I'm glad you're able to let the holiday cheers take the edge off of 2020. :)

I'm so sorry you're going through that. My Mom is super sensitive to this virus (so am I) because of her weak respiratory system, so her doctor pretty much put her under house arrest. So she avoided all human contact she could aside from us. Luckily she could coach teachers from home. But had she gone out, she likely would have gotten it and died.

And I can't imagine that, so I can't imagine how people with their family in the hospital, unable to really talk to them and such feel. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. I send virtual hugs to you, and thanks for offering to listen to my venting, that helps. The same is in return, if you need someone to vent to, I'm hear to listen to any venting you need to do!!

She seems actually happy now, which makes our lives alittle easier. Though she really needs to lay off trying to make demands and wanting more crap to cram into her apartment. She's in a wheelchair, she's gotta have enough room to move around, but she is also a packrat, which my family is already dealing with. We had to take her in the car she gave me so she could go vote, and when we parked and my Dad got out, she began pressing every button because 'I need to turn it off! We don't need it on! Ugh why aren't these radio stations right?!' and wouldn't believe that she had turned off the car (She had but she was on the passenger side, it was dangerous to be doing that!!). She's always been rude (she'd come into a room while you're watching a show, snatch the tv remote from you and change it to something she wanted to watch, saying whatever you were watching was stupid....and yeah, she did this with adults too, not just children.) and she's just gotten worse with age.

Anyways, trying to clean her house has just proven she was the ultimate packrat. Like it's taken us 3 days to just clean through her kitchen, and she has so many repeated things that I don't understand what the hell she was thinking (3 bundt pans, 8 cake pans, a whole cabinet stuffed full of spices that were repeated spices, not even varied spices, saved bread twists, multiple china sets, I could go on!!) and we have to have this place cleaned out by Jan 6. X_X;;

As for my cousin, he left the institution before the week was up, he was too scared of the other kids stuck in there. I don't think he was ready to be taken out, so I pushed that my cousin (his mother) get him with a therapist and doctor right away. He seems to be doing better, but again it's hard to tell at the moment....

Oh, that REALLY sounds like my Nana. We got rid of 19 bags of stuff from her kitchen and living room.. and that was AFTER she had already moved to Florida with my Aunt.

And the rudeness, too. She never saw it, but it was there, and.. painful.

And as for me. Thanks, everyone. My mom came home yesterday, we did find out that it's for sure Stage 4 cancer, and they said my Aunts should get here before the first of the year, instead of the first week of January. So.. that's.. going great.

I'm glad that she seems to be out of your hair! Hope this means you can have a happier holiday season.

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. How are you holding up?

I'm.. not sure actually. :P I'm OK and then I'm crying and then I'm fine again in like a minute. :P

I am so sorry! Sending lots of love to you

EDIT: Also guys!

Member For 14 years, 1 day

Missed getting the box on the exact day, by one day...but still! WOOT!

Thats awesome, congrats !!

Thank you!

Happy New Year Jess, The first of us to see it in. Let’s hope 2021 will see the whole world in a better place xx

And an early Happy New Year to all my fellow bees, much love and happiness to you all xx

Happy New Year!

It is my duty to warn you lot about the alien invasion heading your way.... ;)

We did it! 🎉 We survived 2020, and we deserve to throw a party (discreetly and online), and count the days until we can regain some sense of the old normality! In the meantime, why don't you catch up on Unique's first announcements of the year?

Member sweep:

• We'll be having the first member sweep of the year (hopefully it'll be the only one) on January 31st. This is because, sadly, we have several members who haven't done their 5 monthly posts for a few months now; thus, inactive members will be removed if we don't hear from you by January 31st and quota isn't met. This is probably the most dreaded and hard update that we have to put out here, but at Unique we've always prided on our quality of members, and we'd rather see everyone active and around, instead of the other way around.

Hot Topics:

• Don't forget to buzz into the Monthly Check-In thread and chat with us!
• Our Monthly Poll has been updated!

Activity Ping Sign Up Center:

• Do you have a hard time remembering to participate in an activity, but really wanted to? You can now sign up for pings to those special events. Sign up for all or only a few, your choice!

January Celebrations: Let's celebrate our bees all month long on their special threads!

• Birthday: mouse2212 (12th) Riashire (16th)
• Anniversary: Michiru (17th)

RL Birthday Signs Ups for 2021 are underway! Following 2020's successful celebrations of RL birthdays for our Bees, we'd like to do the same for 2021! If you'd like to receive RL goodies for your birthday this year! Please click here to learn more!

Let's give a round of congratulations to , who was chosen to become January 2021's Featured Member

Don't forget that you're free (and encouraged!) to update your information found in the Meet the Members area of the forums, as all Featured Members are link here.

• Let's welcome the New Year with a very special competition! Following last year's HA Competition, Aditya has a new task on hand, with 2021's New Year, New Me! contest!
• The Hive Queen is back from spending Luminaire in the Blue Building. I wonder what requests she'll have this time around?
• A new Lottery has begun! Think you'll hit the jackpot?
• 2021 features a twist in one of our oldest activities. The Caption Contest has turned into an activity called Photo Caption. Interested? Check the thread to read more about it!
• A new Scavenger Hunt has started, so head over to your wardrobe and reveal your new outift!
• January's Monthly Subeta Goals And Challenges will be updated throughout the day, so don't forget to check them out. (It'll be linked from the sidebar!)

A Photo Caption is a very interesting idea.....Hmmm...I'm gonna have to think about this

Oooh same! I wonder if I can find the perfect image for that caption :D