Oh man I could just live in this thread. I work retail at a craft store as a fes (front end supervisor, basically I do customer service and run one of the two registers that can do returns) and oh man. I am amazed almost daily.

I've had a customer ask if they're allowed to take one of our many many fliers with a coupon for an upcoming weekend that was sat in a stack at my register. (The temptation to go "no, I need all 100+ of them" was strong.)

I've had someone interrupt me mid-transaction with a different person to ask if my lane was open (the kicker being my light was on)

Different person and different day: a man once stood at the front area of our store, glaring at all of us on one of our busiest days. All registers were in use. We were too swamped to have someone go find out what his deal was, and eventually stormed up to me, irritatedly asking if I was going to ring him up. When I told him of course and directed him to the end of my line he became indignant and stormed off.

A customer once asked if we blew balloons here. I told her no, but mentioned we had helium tanks and told her what asile she could find them at. Her reply was "you mean... For sale?" At which she looked genuinely disappointed when I confirmed yes, for sale. (As opposed to some third mystery option other than "service we provide" or "item you can buy", I guess.)

I've had a customer complain to me that she was angry she had to read our signs to know how much things cost. This, I was truly speechless at.

A customer once asked if they could keep part of a product they were returning, and was miffed when I told her that no, if she wanted to make the return then we needed back all of the item.

One man asked if we gave military discounts, I happily told him we do and made the mistake of mentioning that we also do teacher discounts. (In case he knew any teachers, mentioning other discounts like that is usually a good thing.) at which point he got offended and asked if I thought teachers were important. I tried to be tactful and replied that I thought both military members and teachers were important, at which he made a face and simply muttered "disgusting..."

I could seriously go on but I'll wrap this up (for now, I'm sure I'll be back) with one of the worst/saddest interactions. It was winter, and the company was doing an event where we sell certain yarn that will donate a small amount to kids in need, and if you bring in any knitted items (hats, scarves, etc) we'd donate them to children who don't have/can't afford those items. One woman, upon seeing and reading over one of the signs about it posted throughout the store, asked if there was a way to track her knitted item donation. I explained the company and the charity aren't run by the same people, and we don't directly handle that but do make sure the charity gets the items, which they then distribute. I didn't think much of it, thinking she meant she wanted to make sure it actually got to a child or something. She then replied "well I just want to make sure my donations only go to children in America." (Not quite stupid until you put aside how cruel that mindset is and think about the funds that would need to go into tracking every single knitted item and make that information available to the person who donated it. You know, funds that could go towards helping kids.)

Oh man the lines thing is terrible! When I was working at Tim's as the cashier at least once a week I would have a huge 20 person line and have someone stomp to the front and demand to be seen first.

Also gotta love being yelled at for saying Happy Holiday's instead of Merry Christmas! Not only do i have to say Happy Holiday's or I get in shit but I'm Buddhist and don't celebrate Christmas

I work at GameStop. One time I had an older lady ask me where the Mario games for Xbox 360 were. I told her that any Mario game would only be on Nintendo systems, but I'd be more than happy to help her scout for some kid friendly games on the 360 if that's what she was after. The question itself wasn't all that terrible (I actually get asked that a lot), but then she tried to argue with me by claiming that her son was playing a Mario game on the 360 just the other day. She accused me of lying to her because I just didn't want to help her.

So, I work at a dive shop where we sell scuba diving gear and whatnot. We also have saltwater aquariums to add to the ambiance, and we also have shop cats that live in the store. I have two stories:

Customer: [looking at saltwater aquarium] So, the shells in here, are they alive? Me: Well, the animals inside the shell are alive. [points to cowrie shell] A snail lives in that shell. Customer: So, the shells aren't alive? Me: Uhhh no sir, the shells are the animal's house. The shells themselves are not alive. [internal facepalm]

Second story:

One of our cats, Deco, is a mix but looks a lot like Grumpy Cat. Same coloring, he has brown tips and cream fur.

Customer: [looking at Deco] Is your cat pooping, or are his balls brown?! Me: ... His boy parts are brown, yes...

My favorite question is "I don't have my coupon but will you still honor it?"

....................... I shouldnt even have to answer you. And people who complain day and night that their $5 off coupon should be able to be redeemed whenever they want. The dates are printed right on it. It isn't something that's up for discussion.

LMAO....why was the customer looking at your cat's junk?

Dude I don't know! Her question came out of nowhere, it was ridiculous. She was very concerned that he was pooping...

And people wonder why I'm afraid of humans X_x I'm sorry the creepy lady was oggling your poor kitty

Every time I ask a question in a store I worry that it's stupid and the employee will be thinking about how dumb I am for the rest of their life.

I tried to tell myself that people don't remember things like that.

thanks subeta i was clearly wrong

Anyways back when I worked at PetSmart... So like, you could buy flea medications but you had to get a prescription through the vet that was located in the store. I swear every month this same lady would come by and try to buy her flea stuff without the prescription card. And every time I had to remind her that I couldn't just ring that shit up. Bless her heart.

I almost asked if you worked at the bookstore with me, haha, until I read further ;)

I manage a used bookstore -- during schooltime, people are busier looking for textbooks but when we finally run out of the fifty copies of To Kill a Mockingbird, please don't insinuate we aren't a real bookstore. Sorry your child waited until the day before their assignment was due before letting you know they needed to read a book. :S

I looove customer complaint threads, haha!

We also buy books and things back from customers, so there's that whole funfun aspect of the job.

Oh my god, I work as a waitress at a café and I could talk about these for ages. Hand on heart, people have actually said all these things to me.

"Are you going to bring silverware when our food comes out?" (Nope, we make you pick it up with your fucking hands)

"Oh, no, my son shouldn't have lemonade. We're trying to cut back on sugar. He'll have a hot chocolate instead." (fresh squeezed fruit = bad. Chocolate syrup = A-OK)

"Don't put any gluten on my oatmeal please"

After I tell someone we're closed for the day: "Oh, sorry. Can I still get a sandwich?"

The list goes on and on.

In a Pound store: How much is this?

Three years working in retail, and by far the most annoying question any retail worker can get is, "can you check the back for me?" As if "the back" is some magical portal where we hide all the good products.

I push carts now, and I consistently have customers literally ask me for the cart that's attached to the cart pusher. Why yes, let me break this $2K machine for you.

I was working in a really small and familiar bookstore and I liked the job in general. I love books and a few of my favorite customers always asked for new things or for gifts for their x year old niece or something.

But then one day a middle aged guy comes in and asks me for 2 meter of books with green covers for his new bookshelf. But they have to look old. No Sir, I can't ask my little computer for a certain color. Duh. I sent him to the next antiquarian, because the guy running the store was a grumpy old meanie. Mwhaha.

I used to work in a toy/gadget store that sold a variety of cool stuff, including radio-controlled things. We used to sell an R/C powerboat and had one open in a glass cabinet so that people could see it out of the box in real size etc. I seriously used to get asked, as a staff member, if they could have a demonstration of the boat.

Uh...no...we don't work in a lake. We're...in a shopping centre...sorry...

I am working in a music agency. Me on the phone: Hello, Mr working in a cafe. Our band is coming to your town next month. May I send you some flyers and a poster? Guy: A poster? To hang up? Me: Yes. (Thinking: What else? To eat it?)

I've never worked in a customer service type job, but I've heard a fair share of ridiculous things, like "I would like some cod," while the person was standing in front of the bakers section. It wouldn't be so ridiculous if that person hadn't refused to be redirected; they seemed to really think they could get fish at the bakery section.

I was once asked if our stairs went up. The stairs leading to the top floor..

I work in radio. The other day I had a lady call me in the studio and ask me how to send a text message. So I explained how over the phone to her. LOL

I was standing behind the counter, at the till, at work and a customer came in and asked if I worked there.