Hi everyone. We are both 17, if that's something of the matter, I don't smoke, drink, or anything, he smokes tobacco (I think that was the word?) and drinks quite often. Yesterday he told me he wanted to start smoking marijuana, just a bit, and if I could leave him because of that. I told him I would not leave him, I really love him a lot, he is my first boyfrind and we've been 4 months together but.... I don't want anything to happend to him. He said he won't do it once holidays end, and he will just do it 2 or 3 times a month... But today, he told me he already hd smoked it for the first time last weekend. Both of us have problems, both of us have anxiety, depression, and bipolar dissored eich we are being treated for, I'm afriad that, because of his inestability, he will become an addict. What can I do? I'm worried, should I?

I smoke it I'm fine it's weed not crack I also have anxiety and have panic Attacks marijuana has helped me more than hurt me

Sounds like it should be fine. With the exception of possible legal issues (not sure where you're from, though marijuana is highly illegal in much of the USA), marijuana is about the softest drug out there. I've heard it can actually help with certain mental problems, though I've never tested it myself. My bipolar is mostly managed through prescribed meds, so I'm good.

If you're worried about him becoming addicted, I'd recommend checking some resources such as http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/drug-addiction/basics/symptoms/con-20020970 to see if there are any similarities.

But overall, I don't think it will be that big an issue. Best to both of you.

The only worry I'd have is that it's known as a "Gateway Drug" because it leads to harder stuff in some cases. It might not seem like it now, but he could head to something stronger when pot no longer affects him as much. The other thing is that a lot of workplaces wouldn't hire him, so it might be in his best interests to get clean so he can get a job later on. I think the best thing you can do is talk to him, and try to come to a consensus on what his plans are for it, and why he's doing so. People often go to pot to self-medicate for personal and psychological issues. It could be that, and if it is, suggest getting help from therapy instead of a drug as it's effectiveness will be reduced the longer he does it, as it builds up in the body. As for the drinking, it might be the same thing, a personal or psychological issue he is trying to shove down, and instead of using drugs to cope, therapy and counseling, might help more. Talk to him about that.

Have you tried talking to him about it? About your concerns? I don't believe it is a 'gateway drug' (propaganda, imho). I know several smokers who have smoked for over 10 years, and 95% of them have no desire to move onto or even try harder drugs like cocaine or anything. I smoke it once in a while as a last resort for severe period cramps, and don't feel the need to have it at times other than mentioned. But everybody is different. Some people do have addictive personalities. If he wants to do it to try to stop drinking or to cope with mental problems, that isn't good and he should seek help. Yes, it could hinder him if he gets popped with a drug test, though. It does have some health effects, like cigarettes, but everything that you put in your body does. I've not known anybody that has overdosed on pot. He does have to be careful who he gets it from, sometimes shady asshole dealers will lace it with other things. If he does decide to do it on the regular and you yourself aren't comfortable with it, you can ask him to refrain from doing it around you. As I stated before, your best bet would be to talk to him about it and your feelings about him doing it and his reasons for it, and see if you two can work something out. Best of luck to you both!

Thanks all for your answers! The education I got about drugs in school put them as if, you try any kind of them, once, and your whole life will be ruined. I talked with him two times, and for now everythings is just as it used to be before he smoked it. He's been a bit bad today... Well... A lot, I don't know how to help him, I don't know what to do...

But well, I'll just won't tell him to quit it, unless something changs or he starts abusing of it.

Thanks so much!

The education that schools give is purpose built to scare kids out of using them. For good reason, sure, but it's not like you use them once, and your life is ruined. It's those who get addicted, and stay hooked. Just support him and as him to get himself some help for the drug use problem.

It's not his fault. You can't blame him for doing drugs. He might have some repressed issue that pushes him towards it. Like I said, some psychological help can go a LONG way.

My personal experiences with pot and alcohol has been to learn how to moderate and when to say no. To learn what situations or people are ok and chill when and if I were to use them and when to just say no for my own personal awareness (my sis has me go get her from some shady places, she's the wild party one and i'm not). For me I can take it or leave it despite the many generations of addicts in my family. On my mothers side I'm the /ONLY/ adult who isn't addicted to something :/ I can tell you I've yet to ever have desire to try other drugs. I know how horribly they can mess up someone's life all too well. I know many from my family, many that are customers at my work, and just in general hearing stories of HOW MUCH people have lost or low they sunk to feed that habit. I mean losing your whole family and being left homeless? Nope, I'll pass. Stealing from a little kids piggy bank and holiday cards? Again hard pass on making myself that kind of asshole.

But I do agree with the sentiment that if he's trying to suppress or "self fix" an issue that these items are NOT the way to do it. He would need to talk to someone about the deeper seated roots of his feelings. Sometimes we don't realize how badly something that happened at age 5 can still affect us at age 30.

Also it is good to be educated in all ways you can. Of course there's going to be more out there trying to horror scare people into not doing it, but eventually you'll get all the info you could want for either side.

And do be aware even though it is considered legal in two states that it's still illegal federally. Even in the two states where it's ok to have it's treated much like alcohol, have to be 21, only so much on your person, not to be done in public areas like a park or while driving ect ect. So even if you guys live in one of the two states he can get nailed badly if he has it with him and he got paths crossed with a hard assed cop. Maybe look up the stuff that can happen in your state for MIP and then talk to him about your concerns of how that might work against his future.

This is a really tough subject and you have people saying that weed is addictive, and you've got people saying it's not addictive. Then you have people saying it's a gateway drug and again other saying it's not. It's kinda hard to make sense of things when people all argue over these little points, huh?

Smoking weed is addictive. Anybody that says different is lying to you. There's plenty of research to back this statement up, but it's pointless to link it because all the people that smoke will always ignore it. One way to tell that weed is addictive is that most of the heavy weed smokers you know will blow hundreds or thousands of dollars on their drug of choice per month/year. If that's not addictive, I dunno what is.

On the subject of gateway drugs, yeah weed is a gateway drug. But it's not like smoking weed will automatically lead people to try other things immediately. More often than not it's that people who smoke weed have access to drug dealers with harder drugs available and since those drugs cost more money and earn the dealer more, sometimes they will "offer" a small bit to try. It's at that point that the former weed user tries something harder. The other common thing is that after smoking weed for a long time, people will build up a tolerance to the drug properties and will need a larger amount to get the same level of "high" that they use to get so easy. At that point sometimes weed users will intentionally seek out harder drugs on their own, trying to replace that lost "high".

With all that said, in other cases, some weed users are perfectly satisfied with their weed and never need another drug. What it comes down to is a person's resistance to drugs and their own willpower toward this type of thing. The whole thing about "I'll only do it during the holidays" or "I'll only do it 2-3 times a month" aren't really things I can really see as realistically possible. He can't know how the drug will effect him, so he has no real basis for knowing how much he'll smoke.

And then there's always going to be the pressure he's going to put on you to "join him" in smoking. Either he's directly going to ask you, or he's going to smoke around you and you're going to want to know about your boyfriend's life right (because you're a loving girlfriend, right)? So pretty much worst case, he keeps going with weed > he gets you started > and then you both move to harder drugs.

Alcohol is more dangerous than weed. People have already mentioned it, but just makes sure he moderates. Talk to him and work out a line you're both comfortable with. Smoking before an exam not ok with you? Tell him. Think about it and find your line, and then explain to him why that's your line.

Also do some research on what the actual ill effects of weed are. It's not really a dangerous drug, which is why the several-decade-old push to get it legalized is finally starting to take effect. Smoking cigarettes are much, much worse for you health-wise, and more addictive to weed.

You should also both be monitoring how much he uses it. If he's finding that after a week he wants to do it every single day (or more), maybe he has an addictive personality and should stop using it altogether. If he's having it once a month and has no issues only having it once a month, then go ahead. Maybe it really helps with his depression and/or anxiety.

And other people have said this, but just beware of harder drugs. Really the only reason weed is a "gateway drug" is because it's illegal and the people who sell weed often sell harder drugs, and want you to buy those drugs. The highs of other drugs are very different from weed high and people typically pursue those for different reasons. Beware of your dealer's intentions, and make sure you're both strong enough to say no when/if that happens.

In my personal experience, as I am also treated for depression, I've had very bad highs from weed. I don't do it anymore because the effects aren't appealing to me for that reason. The only reason I did was to reveal my headaches, and at this point, it doesn't even help for that anymore. Just curious, did he say why he wanted to start smoking?

Without even addressing the good or bad of pot, I can tell you this much: only be in a relationship with someone who you want to. If the thought of him smoking upsets you, that is an issue YOU have. If he lies to you about it, that is an issue HE has. Never let someone lie to you. In the long run, you have think about what you want and your own consequences and feelings. You aren't having children together or anything serious, you are young! He (and you!) are going to try different things, experiment, make mistakes and find out that a lot of what is 'bad' as a kid is not that major when you are on the other side of it. You shouldn't expect anyone to change for you unless you both are committed.

On to the subject of weed: it's really not that bad, the propaganda around it is horrendous, misleading and tends to be repeated by the loudest and rudest people. Question propaganda, see what multiple scientists say. No drugs should ever be mixed with prescription drugs, and you should always consult a doctor about possible side effects. However, if NOT on prescription drugs, pot can definitely help with depressive personality disorders such as bipolarism. Self-medication really isn't the way to go, though. He should talk to someone about it if he thinks it'll help.

When it comes down to it, you need to decide if it's something you're comfortable with. I've ended relationships with people that chose to pursue drugs for a variety of reasons. If you are okay with it, and he's.... reasonable.... about it, than don't forfeit your relationship over it. But otherwise, don't deal with something that makes you uncomfortable. A relationship should never do that to you. And if he's your first boyfriend, you shouldn't think your options are limited. Your first love will always stay with you, but it doesn't necessarily mean it's supposed to work out. You're worried enough about it to post it here, so it's worth discussing more in depth with him.

All of these people are saying that Marijuana has no effects on the brain, but they are not scientifically accredited. And studies show that it can shrink the prefrontal cortex (which makes decisions). Thats why I don't smoke or let my boyfriend smoke it. And I don't let my boyfriend smoke tobacco because theres no filter, hence its worse than cigarettes. I don't want him dying of lung cancer prematurely.

If you have a problem with your boyfriends drug habits, you should talk to him about it.

smoking marijuana occasionally is fine, but i'd worry about him starting to smoke more and more regularly as an escape from reality. ive got a friend who did it like that and ended up with a psicosis.

i, on the other hand, used to smoke weed when i was your age and it didn't do me any harm. but then again, i didn't do it that often or regularly

i don't think marijuana is that bad or that harmless as people usually say it is. it can be a good thing if used in the right measure and without addiction, just like alchol or sugar or anything else

Ahem, smoking weed is NOT addictive. There are no comprehensive studies or meta analysis of these studies indicating this. ALSO, if he were psychologically "addicted" to it, the good news is, he can always ween off of it with no serious side effects. It's not like cocaine or meth. What you should be more concerned about is him smoking tobacco. However, moderation is key, with anything else. Just keep communication open between you two.

Weed isn't inherently addictive, yeah. The only way you'll get mad reliant on it is if you already have an addictive personality or are prone to escapism to an unhealthy degree.

Although the legal part of it someone brought up is still questionable. Most places where it's legal to own/smoke/grow pot still requires you to be 21.

Though it sounds like this guy doesn't really respect your boundaries, and speaking from experience, a partner who drinks/doses paired a partner who doesn't and actively dislikes it isn't always gonna be easy. When it comes to stuff like this, it's important to have lots of dialogue; you can't control him (and shouldn't) but he should be aware of where your comfort levels lie, as well as stay honest. Also, you're young and the first love is always intense. But there are loads of other guys and/or gals out there you might mesh better with. Don't feel like if you dump this guy, you're gonna be alone forever, cuz you're not.

PS, the gateway drug thing is a myth. When people want a harder/cheaper high, they just go straight for it. Kush doesn't factor into it, some people just do it along with the other stuff.

I know people who smoke because it helped their anxiety. I also know people who had terrible experiences because of how pot interacted with their meds. Everyone reacts differently to it.

He's your first boyfriend, which probably means he won't be your last either. If it makes you uncomfortable, don't put up with it, simple as that. A lot of people on the internet (subeta especially) are fairly liberal when it comes to drugs. Just because all these people are telling you how awesome it is, and how you should just relax, doesn't mean you don't have a totally valid reason to feel which ever way you do about it.

Maybe a first step is to be around him while he's high, and see how you feel about it. If you don't like it, and he refuses to stop, cut your losses and run for both of your sakes. If its something he really enjoys, but you want no part of, it would probably be in both of your best interests to find someone with the same opinion on the matter.

This is coming from someone who smokes on occasion.

I smoked it a lot around your age, and grew out of it after a couple years. Never done another drug in my life! Although, weed triggered my very first panic attack at 16 years old, and I've been struggling with panic disorder ever since. :( It's a pretty common thing to happen, he should be fine as long as he doesn't go too crazy with it. I've been completely clean and sober since I was 20 - so, 5 years :) Weed is something almost everyone experiments with at some point, I wouldn't worry too much!

people don't start smoking weed then decide HEY GUYS LETS SMOKE METH INSTEAD.SOUNDS MORE FUN.