First, I must curse the little amount of space that we have for writing the title! It should actually read "how to tell my homophobic mother about my bi friend's boyfriend who is coming over for prom pictures?"

And the situation is just like that. My house was voted the most picturesque out of my group of friends', so we're all going to gather here before the dance begins to take pictures and such. Normally this would be no big deal.

However, my mom is the type of person who HATES gays with a fury. I'm not joking. Every chance she gets, she bashes them and calls them abominations against god, the scum of the Earth, the spawn of the devil, etc. Someone who used to teach my brother and sister gave my mom a dirty look because she sent me to a different school. When we got home, my mom called her (and I roughly quote) "a mother fucking gay-ass faggot dyke piece of shit."

;-; She never ever implied that she was gay. That's something my mom thought up because she has short hair. (I wish I were joking.)

I'm sure you get a grasp of the situation. She's most likely not going to say anything to them while they're there, but afterwards... my god, she will destroy me for even associating with such "terrible people" and douse me with holy water so that I don't become "infected." The irony of that is that I'm bi, but that's a death wish for another day.

I kinda can't just say "oh, we're not going to have pictures at my house because my mom hates gay people okay sorry bro."

So, what do I do? I've got almost a month before D-day. :/ Please help me, I appreciate any bit of advice!

why can't you say just that? Explain the situation to them.

why on earth would you even consider subjecting your friends to a potential experience like that???? secondly, why on earth would you even consider speaking to your mother about the topic when you KNOW it isn't going to end well??

word of advice: find a new place to take pictures and let sleeping dogs lie.

Do you have to mention it to her? Maybe you could let your friends know about it and they could pretend that they're just friends taking pictures together for the lulz?

- My mom is very close-minded and thick-headed, in her own words. I don't think she'll take it well. :/

- I wish it were just as easy as asking to have the photo-op somewhere else. I don't want to offend him in any way, and I honestly didn't think about that when I volunteered. Even if we have it at another person's house, my parents will still come to take pictures and thus see them together. That kinda goes back to the original situation. D:

- I kinda ruined that plan because I referred to them as "X and his date."

Oh the things I get myself into. >.<;

...Oops. Maybe she forgot...? I'm out of useful thoughts. :(

it's one thing for your mother to arrive at a public (or other) place and make a scene. that's on her and her poor character. it's entirely another to invite your friends to your house where you KNOW she will be and potentially have something to say.

i can invite my friends to the zoo where there is a chance they can see a lion. it's entirely another situation to invite them into the lions den altogether, imo.

No, I don't mean telling your mom, I mean telling your friends that you can't have the photoshoot at your house. I know you don't want to offend your friend, but I think that one day he has to learn that people out there aren't all going to be nice to him based on his sexuality. In fact, I think you too are acting discriminatory against your friend by being unable to tell him that your mother is homophobic, all you're doing is a disservice to him. As a homomosexual myself, I know that I'd be more pissed that a friend didn't warn me about their homophobic parents before I came over rather than them being upfront and honest to me about the situation. I agree 100% with it was incredibly irresponsible of you to volunteer your house, but all you can do now is try and fix the situation.

I agree with the other posts I've read. Do this somewhere else. Your friends will understand. People don't pick their family but they do pick their friends. Your friends will understand and you can all take photos somewhere else.

Why doesn't your mother just take photos of you and your date when they come to pick you up, then you both can leave from there and meet up with your friends elsewhere and take more photos? That should be just fine. Your mother undoubtedly doesn't care to see your friends and their dates.

Your friends WILL understand. Explain your mother to them, and if they know your own sexuality they will know you have nothing to do with it. Explain things to all that will be there, and do cause no drama, just act like the two are just friends/his date bailed/hide in the closet. Personally, I'd bash your mothers head it. =| I would be better off never going near your house.

Also, when you move out, make a nice little list of "abominations" of all the other homosexual and gender-changing animals. Maybe a note at the bottom that says "If God didn't want it, they wouldn't exist either."

@ shatzy - That's a rather good metaphor. I guess I'll just talk to my friends, tell them about what's happening, and then try to work something else out. I know she won't say anything like that outside the comfort of her own home.

@ Puck_n_Loki - You do have a very good point. I'll talk with my friends tomorrow and try to work things out. My date also volunteered his house, so that's probably our next option.

Thanks for your help, everyone. It was rather irresponsible of me to not think the situation through, but my friends are rather understanding and I'm sure they'll help me out here.

- I didn't think of that, what an awesome idea! I'm hoping they'll go with it. xD

- That's what I'll do. I actually explained my mother's thinking to them once before, I'm surprised that none of us second-guessed the decision! (pleasedo.)

YES. That along with the other things "the good book" says are wrong such as shellfish, pork, wearing clothes of mixed fabric, haircuts, fortune telling (we're big on this in my house), and wearing gold (another big thing). :D

good luck <3 I'm sure things will work out for you

AHAHAHA Also put on it "Now, before you go and say that any of these are from the first testament, try to explain how it is alright to change the word of the Lord, especially in only a few aspects to better ones own vain perceptions and ease their own life style."

- Thank you! :) I'm sure they will~

it sounds like /someone/ hasn't read a certain Paul verse 12:34 where Jesus says "and I sayeth to you to abandon the laws of Leveticus and other teachings that are inconvenient. But keep hating the gays. Seriously, fuck those guys."

Jesus said it. Can't deny it.

Fuck. Me. My ignorance, it will be the end of me. Flails on to the floor Strike me down, oh great Lord above !

- If you don't mind the semi-ironic gif,

Ahahaha XD Your friends will understand (and if they don't, then they want drama). I am sure something will be arranged so that all of this works out for the best.

If you don't want to tell your friends that the photoshoot will have to be rearranged, you could always backpedal and tell your mom that your guy friend is taking another guy as a joke. I mean, I know that's not ideal, and I'm sure those guys wouldn't appreciate their relationship being seen as a 'joke', but I'm sure they wouldn't mind for the hour or less it takes to snap a few prom photos.

Just say that neither of them could find female dates so they took each other just to mess around.

Hopefully your mom won't have much to say about that, although she probably will feel uncomfortable still. But I agree especially with saying that the best case scenario would be to move the photoshoot elsewhere. I don't want to be harsh or too personal but idk, your mom sounds fucking psychotic, but it is HER house, so inviting friends there that you know stand for something she's super duper against just... wasn't a good movie, although I can totally understand that you had nothing but good intentions.

Best of luck in your situation, I hope it all works out.

- Hopefully! I'll update this thread with the decision.

- That could work as an addition to the moving the photoshoot, actually. I'll have both bases covered and she'll most likely believe it. Oh lordie, she is psychotic. I could just go on about her mother-isms! xD

Thank you. :) I'll tell you guys about the new plans.