I feel so bad and impure after doing anything sexual-related. From being with a guy to even watch an erotic image. I think that's something a proper lady shouldn't do and I feel really sad after anything sex related. Does anyone else here feels the same??

Even creating this thread is enough to make me feel awkward.

- Before I give my answer, you should probably add the word "mature" to your subject. This subject can get very... detailed, so it's best to put that warning first. Also, this really isn't a debate. You may want to put this under the "issues and advice" section of chit-chat. I think this will also give a chance for your post to get more responses.

As for my answer, I used to feel how you feel. I grew up being taught sex before marriage is completely unacceptable and I can go to hell for it. Other things happened too that contributed to giving me a negative image of sex.

Now, I don't see anything wrong with it, unless it's rape or involves animals or children. It's because of a former friend that made me realize it's not bad... it's a part of human nature.

Maybe having more people tell you there's nothing wrong with your behavior will help you fight the feelings of impurity.

Yeah I put it here. I dunno why I made it here... I think because you can debate about the standards women "should" have when it comes to sex.

And yeah, I don't know what to think about it to be honest...

- It's okay if you're unsure how you feel at the moment. You're trying to break away from what you were taught and accept your behaviors.

I understand the debate aspect now. I'm not good at debating, but I'll try.

It's completely unfair how women are expected to be "pure" until marriage while men are encouraged to get any woman they can grab a hold of before marriage. To me, marriage is more of a sign you're ready to commit to one partner... not to lose your virginity. Women who sleep with more than one man are "sluts", which is derogatory. Men who sleep with more than one woman are "pimps", which is a positive status symbol.

Women are oversexualized in media. It sends a completely contradictory message to the "pure" message. It's confusing for any girl to be brought up with both, equally bad, messages.

Girls need to be taught it's okay to explore their sexuality. It's not a bad thing at all. If girls were more educated about sex, I think unexpected pregnancies would drop.

My experience with my boyfriend shows there are different ways to approach a relationship. The media encourages a couple who want a serious relationship to not have sex for weeks or months after they started dating. I ended up losing my virginity to my one and only boyfriend 3 weeks after meeting him (we weren't dating). I hooked up with him one night, but we wanted to see each other again and again. We fell for each other and we're happily together now. Since I lost my virginity, I haven't changed at all. Nothing bad happened. It just makes sexual activities more enjoyable.

Everyone is different and should be allowed to explore their sexuality freely without interference (except when it involves animals, children, and cheating on a committed partner). It's a part of human nature that's usually harmless.

You basically vocalize everything I want to say but can not. I dunno why the media images and what others might think of me affects me so much...

Sometimes I think that being sexual and doing sex related stuff tarnishes my femininity and makes me more like a man...

i agree with star_cherry that you likely feel that way because of how society portrays women and sex.

apparently, if a man sleeps with ten different girls in a week he is considered great and "macho", whereas if a woman so much as admits to watching a porn movie she is shamed and called a slut. i honestly think this is complete bullshit and that everyone should have as much sex as they wish (as long as it's between two consenting people, of course).

and this isn't only a problem for women actually. according to many many many people, me being an asexual man is a sign of weakness and femininity. well, sorry if i don't fantasize about every girl (or guy, actually) i see walking down the street. :|

You. I like you.

I guess society's mindset is kinda difficult to change... Every body teaches girls from a young age that sex is bad for them if they have a sexual idea or two. But for men it is different. No one scolds a boy for being like that.

Sigh. I am pretty old now tho. 20 years old. I can and should do my life regardless of what others think.

Also please no strangle. thx.

-bows- why thank you. c:

i also think this is a problem when it comes to school dress codes. where i study the dress code is in place to keep a "professional atmosphere" and i'm chill with that, but i've heard about some schools where the reason as to why girls can't wear short shorts and strappy shirts is that they'll "distract the boys". if someone can't do an exam without hopelessly staring for an hour at a girl's exposed shoulder, he shouldn't even be taking the exam in first place imo.

i really don't see why girls should be ashamed of enjoying their bodies. plus from what i've heard from female friends, it's basically impossible to buy knee-length shorts anyway so wtf.

but you're right, you're 20. just enjoy life and don't bother about what others will think. the only thing that matters is that you're happy, really. |D

Here in Peru all highschools and lower use uniforms so that doesn't applies to us.

I fricking love short shorts tho and I like showing off my legs. It's the only part of my body I actually like after all!!

Sigh. Oh society.