Granted, but your cats don't sleep comfortably knowing your sister's cat is gone.

I wish tomorrow was Valentine's Day.

Granted, but due to the dramatic shift in the space time continuum, tomorrow is also Christmas, and you don't have a gift for your s/o / boy you crush on, and therefore, it's ruined din tears and drama as the slut from 6th period English DOES.

I wish I had a PBJ. With apricot jelly.

Granted, but the bread for the sandwich is molded so bad that it is rendered inedible.

I wish my dorm room weren't so damn cold.

Granted, but now it is heated by farts. D:

I wish we didn't have to wear uniforms. D:

Granted, but now that everyone can wear what they want, the popular bitches mock those who wear things that aren't to their standards.

I wish I was happy today.

Granted, but you're miserable next week.

I wish it would snow.

Granted- but it's yellow.

I wish.... -goes into accent- I wish I had a dallah.

Granted, but it's Monopoly money.

I wish my cheek didn't hurt anymore.

Granted. The cheeks on your face don't hurt anymore...but your sciatica (aka nerves in your butt cheeks) begin to hurt like crazy!

I wish I looked perfect.

Granted, but unfortunately "perfect" is relative, and what you deem perfect your mom deems "Mega super" and you are now dragged to beauty contests and freak shows as she lives vicariously through you.

I wish my pipes would thaw.

Granted, but they cracked in the process.

I wish today would go well.

Granted, but tomorrow's gonna suck.

I wish I had my own car, in perfect condition.

Wish granted, but when you get your perfect car it spontaniously combusts (explodes) when you are driving it and you die.

I wish I had a giant cookie!:D

Your wish is my command!

HOWEVER

When the cookie appears, it just so happens to be over your head. Now you've got a cookie and your a pancake.

Man... I wish I could talk to animals...

Granted, but they can't understand your thick accent.

I wish I could talk about anything and still keep people's interest.

Granted, but people get board and kill thereself after about 15 minutes of your talking.

I wish I had a real handgun!:D

Granted, but it has its own mind and leaves your house!

I wish I had 1 billion subeta points

wish granted but for no reason whatsoever someone hacks you and freezes your account.

I wish my handgun came back. :c

Granted, but it malfunctions.

I wish I knew exactly what the hell was going on with my girlfriend. =/

Granted, but it's something serious that you find you'd rather not know and feel helpless to deal with.

I wish I had a well-paying job that I really enjoy doing.