Granted, but now the pain has traveled down to your feet.

I wish I had a warm, snug quilt.

Granted,but it's unbearably itchy

I wish I had an owl

Granted, but it pecked out your eyes.

I wish I had straight A's.

Granted, but your social life suffers severely.

I wish this zit on my lip would go away.

Granted, but now you have a wart on your lip.

I wish I could fly.

Granted, but you can never touch the ground again.

I wish I had another slice of cheesecake.

Granted but it's laced with cyanide.

I wish I was a unicorn.

Granted, but you get your horn chopped off and you're sold to a factory that abuses horses for labour.

I wish I owned 500 lava lamps.

Granted, but they're made of real Lava and burn your house down.

I wish I had infinite money.

Granted, but you wake up to a long line of beggars on your doorstep every morning, and their numbers grow throughout the day.

I wish it was Christmas already.

Granted, but you get no presents.

I wish I had super intelligence.

Granted, but the more information you absorb into your big, spongy brain, the frailer your body becomes, until you're basically a flimsy little pre-resurrection Voldemort monkey baby thing who can't sit up without assistance.

I wish my cat would stop climbing me like a cat tree.

Granted, but now your cat wants to rip out your throat and eyes and eat you.

I wish Finals were over and I aced them all.

Granted, but the results were lost and you have to take new tests without time to prepare.

I wish I was at a ski resort.

Granted but you get eaten by the Yeti.

I wish my paper was finished.

Granted, but you forgot to put your name on it and you end up getting a zero anyways. (Geeze, could you imagine :o?)

(pssst! you forgot to add a wish.)

I wish for this year to be over.

Granted, but New Years turns out to be the end of the world.

I wish my boyfriend would stop being immature.

Granted, but he's turned into an elderly man.

I wish my shower would stop flooding, haha.

: granted, but now it leaks blood

I wish I could end world hunger