Granted but you are broken and abused by buyers and careless children

I wish I had ice cream

Granted but it ate you

I wish for a grenades

Granted, but they were unlocked grenades that exploded the moment you got them.

I want my feet to be warm.

Granted but your feet are in a pot of boiling water

I wish for a zodiac animal

Granted, but you got the one you hated the most, and it licked you death.

I wish I had some chocolate chips.

granted but they are poo flavored chocolate chips i wish i had a new pair of shoes

Granted, but they were "cleansed" with manure before you got them.

I wish I could find the end of the rainbow!

Granted, but there's a pissy Leprechaun who annoys the heck out of you

I wish I could fly

Granted, but you fly into a building a die of shock as you fall to the ground.

I wish I had a caramel.

granted but it has humps that turn into spikes which sadly impale you I wish i had my own fashion line

Granted, but everyone hates it and threatens to burn down your house if you don't stop.

I wish I had more cash so I could start working on my future plans.

Granted, but then when you go to get food, it's all stale so you slam the refrigerator door which rattle your whole house and somehow opens up a black who that sucks in your whole house, then your neighborhood, and then your city, state, country, continent, and eventually, the whole world. And it was all you fault that the world ended.

I wish I was more creative xD

Granted. The most amazing show ever comes on, your complete favorite of all time. Everything was going great, Suzy was about to dump her over-controlling boyfriend Tommy and her cat had kittens, when all of a sudden...SOMEONE BREAKS INTO HER HOUSE :o He raises up his knife, and Suzy screams and - .....your TV explodes. Sucks to be you. Haha.

I wish I wish I was not a fish. Ever. Haha.

Ahaha, good one xD

GRANTED. But all of them are lame. And people poke you with large toothpicks and then feed you to sharks.

I wish I could fly without worrying about flying into buildings, planes, jet turbines, suddenly losing my ability to fly, or any other nasty repercussion.

Ahaha, nice twist xD And I thought I had the unruinable wish xD

Granted. Works great for 7 days. Then a random voice from the sky whispers "Just kidding" as you trip over a rock and plummet to your death off the edge of a cliff after being experimented on while you slept in the local jail.

I wish I knew all the answers to the Trivial Pursuit Genius Edition game.

Granted. But then you die of natural causes. Young.

Edit: Forgot my wish, haha.

I wish it wasn't 1am.

Granted. You die as a fetus before you're born into this world.

I wish to commit the perfect non-murder. And they never find the weapon because there isn't one.

Granted, however you are so riddled with guilt that you turn yourself in.

I wish I could convert sP into real money to pay my bills.

(please ping? me)

Granted. But the conversion is all wrong and you get charged with counterfeiting money and tax fraud. You get sent to jail for the rest of eternity.

I wish I had that one awesome shirt.

Granted, but it is way too small for you to wear.

I wish I had a life.